How bad is my anger?

How bad is my anger?
I need some help understanding how bad of an anger problem I have. I think my main symptom would be impatience. I get easily frustrated and impatient. Probably mostly when I’m waiting on some thing. Standing in the queue, waiting on other people, waiting in general it just pisses me off.
I have noticed that I get very impatient and frustrated by small things that don’t go the way I expected them to go. For an example if I try to put a small object in place or in a particular position and it doesn’t fit in after one or two attempts then I start to curse. I get frustrated by objects on my walking path in my condo, although I do a little to oht them in place. II get frustrated and impatient by many other details, let’s say I don’t connect the phone charger in the power outlet from the first or second try - I start swearing. This is becoming a problem for me and my wife especially, since she has anger issues on her own.
Another huge trigger for me it’s expectations that were not met. oh boy this is a huge one actually. I get so frustrated when I set my mind on something and it just doesn’t go my way. Made plans for the night or whatever and I can’t go with them for some reason.
Up until now I never was concerned too much about this but now it’s starting to affect my relationship, it’s starting to affect my wife’s mood and frankly I’m tired of being upset for no serious reason. I get these frstration/anger fits almost every day. It’s like I’m addicted to it.
now I have a newborn and I’m starting to get aggressive toward him when it doesn’t behave the way I expect him to behave - keeping me sleepless in the middle of the night mostly, or just being fussy for no apparent reason. Needless to say how stupid and absurd this is. When the anger passes I just feel guilty for talking badly or handling rough my baby. I never hurt him, I never shake him or anything like it, but I do talk bad to him and I handle him not as gently as I normally would.
besides this I don’t have violent outbursts, I keep my cool very well during big arguments with my wife, I keep my cool very well even when I get offended, I don’t break thing, I rarely argue with people (even with my wife!), I never get into psysical fights or similar things.
I have recognized the problem and I have discussed it with my wife and we agreed that I will go and talk to a psychiatrist and try and work it out. I want to know in your experience how bad my problem is? Can you indicate a text that I should read that would help me assess my anger level?

I don't have any text, I just wanted to sympathise- I find myself angry at small things- also while I don't have a baby, I do have a very... willful dog, and I find myself getting frustrated and a little rough- not intentionally hurting him, mind you- just not what I ought to be. I have to periodically reset my attitude, as it were. I used to be terribly bad about blowing up at work, because it was very stressful- oftentimes it's as if I expect everything to go my way and go perfect, and I have to make myself remember that no, it won't and doesn't.

It's good that you're seeking some professional input for this . It could help you understand more about why you are having that kind of reaction to things . As to how bad it is , I don't think any kind of comparison to other people's anger levels would be helpful to you . You're aware enough to ask the question so I think you have an understanding that this is causing you problems and it's an issue that needs to be addressed before it worsens .

I had to learn how to manage my anger because I keep things bottled up until it overflows and then I blow up for seemingly trivial reasons . My upbringing was definitely from the " A lady doesn't yell and scream or make a scene " school . So what does a lady do with her anger and frustration ? She does exactly what I described above . That was not a healthy way to deal with my emotions .

I've used some coping techniques to break that cycle and these days I find that I'm not holding on to my angry feelings for very long and I'm expressing them in a better way .

There's something wrong with how you interpret things, I must say. How about changing your behavior towards things like for example when you are standing long, instead of being frustrated why not think that standing for a long time would help you strengthen your muscle. I suggest trying to find positive thoughts in things that makes you mad.

To be fair , there are times when strong emotions can overwhelm us to the point where we have very little ability to look for positives or even try to understand why we are being irrationally angry . Much like a tidal wave , in the moment , it can sometimes take a great deal of effort to hold it back .