how do I stop blaming someone?

I am aware I'm responsible for my decisions. I'm also aware that people's decisions are influenced by others, particularly family members that you grow up with. So when I have accepted my actions and changed my behavior, how do I stop hating and blaming people who made my life difficult?

Welcome Toddyson ,

That's a tough question and I don't think there are any easy answers . I have someone in my past that I blame for starting me on the road to gambling addiction .

Did they peer-pressure me into doing something that snowballed into an addiction that nearly ruined me ? Yes , they did . Did they set out to deliberately get me addicted to gambling ? I don't believe so . I dont want to believe that .

I struggled for a long time with alternately hating this person and really wanting to believe that they meant no harm . But the harm was done , regardless . Sometimes I still struggle with it .

I no longer see this person but their pushy , insistent ways manifest themselves in all aspects of their interactions with others . They have lost more than a few friends . I have been in recovery for several years now but sometimes the thought of what I lost during my addicted years brings up a bitterness and resentment that I have to work to let go of . It's not easy , but it's necessary .

I can't change the past but neither do I have to drag it around with me . Regret , hatred and resentment is a heavy , heavy load .

Part of accepting your actions and behaviors is learning to love yourself. If you fill your heart with love, there will be no room for hate.

Also, accepting that there are bad people in this world (who wish you harm) will help you understand that your actions were influenced by a bad environment. Sometimes we act in certain way only when certain people are around us.

If you are around bad people, you will end up acting badly.
If you are around lovely people, you will end up a lovely person.