I just screamed the house down. Again.

I live in a pleasant place. I live in a small two bedroom flat on level two of three storeys. Its a quiet and well-maintained apartment block.

But every now and then, maybe between 3 and 6 weeks apart. I shout at my partner uncontrollably. I am the most unpleasant thing about living in this building complex.

I feel so ashamed. It's so damaging to my relationship. It must sound harrowing to my neighbourhood. I suppose I just burst. I scream at the top of my voice. I have a sore throat today.

I am the guilty one, but I feel as though my partner doesn't fight the fire with water. He is so incredibly antagonistic. Its MY fault I shout. I should not shout. I am wrong for shouting so loud that the entire building of over 20 flats, can hear my bellow. But why must he goad and provoke me over and over.

I feel I cannot leave the house. I feel I cannot face my neighbors. What should I do?

I feel so utterly broken inside. so embarrassed. It's happened before and I promised it wouldn't.

We all have our limits. Try to recognize that when your partner starts to provoke you, that that is when YOU need to leave the flat and take a walk or drive somewhere safe. And perhaps your partner will sense something's not right about his communication style whenever you leave the flat in silence.

Thank you,

You are quite right. I have left the flat under those circumstances in the past but get sorry for myself being alone. I realize that actually inflicting the discomforting noise onto others than to end it with a short discomfort for just myself is a better choice.

I'm finding lessons in how to take responsibility for myself more and here is a fine example!