Why is anger even a bad thing?

I've been told that my anger is a problem, and I have been to a psychologist about it, I was made to feel as if I was sick for having anger but realized that it's only genetic, I inherited it from my mum, she's incredibly angry but I see that she gets angry for a good reason, she can go mad.

I don't see it as a bad thing but it can be costly for you, for example if you smash a TV (I used to headbutt mine when I was a kid) or if you actually hurt someone, I've never really done that, I used to smash things in the house when I was angry, i've punched holes in the wall, I broke my hand punching a window etc. But it's not really any kind of sickness, social services would make me feel as if I had a problem, but I don't and it's not like I could solve it so they are silly to expect me to lose my anger genetics.

I feel as if my anger is for a good reason though, if people weren't so full of $#%^ then I wouldn't be angry and I genuinely do think people are full of $#%^, when I admit I think most people are full of $#%^ they look at me like I'm the problem, I guess they just don't get it, hence blame me, but if they weren't like how they are then it wouldn't affect me more once I get angry, I think it's a mixture of what I've been through in the past and genetics.

I have managed to control it well though, If I'm angry I don't smash things anymore but can if I'm that angry, I don't find hitting a pillow stops it, I have no patience for that and the ridiculousness of the idea angers me more. I am anti social but I find that it's for a good reason, I naturally get enraged around many people, crowds annoy me, I hate most of society, they are so full of $#%^ and I can have violent thoughts like terrorism, I'd never do it though. I'm not a psychopath though, I feel remorse, but not sure what I'd do if there were no laws, I feel as if there's a grudge on society for my past, it's deep and doesn't go, I forget about my grudge but it stays there, it's from bullying and ostracizing me.

Can anger be cured if it's genetic? Is it even a bad thing to be angry? What if someone's attacking you, would it be good to remain passive? Surely retaliation is sometimes good and sometimes you have to get angry, it's human nature to feature anger, it's not an irrational emotion, there's a good reason why we feel it, injustice, however people like to overlook injustice, I think that's worse than not featuring anger, they are at fault there and i hate them for it.

Eschenbach wrote:I've been told that my anger is a problem, and I have been to a psychologist about it, I was made to feel as if I was sick for having anger but realized that it's only genetic, I inherited it from my mum, she's incredibly angry but I see that she gets angry for a good reason, she can go mad.

I don't know if anger could be inherited, however, I do believe that failing to deal with anger is easily taught at home. You mention your mother is "incredibly angry". So you probably learnt that from watching her interact.

Eschenbach wrote:I don't see it as a bad thing but it can be costly for you (...)

I don't think anger itself is a bad trait. Actually anger is what make us stand up for ourselves.

Eschenbach wrote: (...) for example if you smash a TV (I used to headbutt mine when I was a kid) or if you actually hurt someone, I've never really done that, I used to smash things in the house when I was angry, i've punched holes in the wall, I broke my hand punching a window etc. But it's not really any kind of sickness, social services would make me feel as if I had a problem, but I don't and it's not like I could solve it so they are silly to expect me to lose my anger genetics.

What you are talking here is not anger, but how you deal with anger. For example, lets say a person is cheated on. That person can deal with it by smashing a TV, but also can deal with it leaving the person, by having a kickboxing class, etc.

So anger in itself is not the problem, but how you deal with it. Smashing things, making holes in the walls, braking your hand, are the ways you deal with it, and it's costly to you financially but also emotionally. It might frighten people you care about, it might break relationships that are important to you.

Maybe this is the way you have learnt to deal with anger, but there are many, and you can even choose how to deal with it. You don't have to punch a pillow if that seems silly. You can go for a martial arts training, and have a really heavy encounter. This will not be money wasted as in the TV, but money invested.

Eschenbach wrote:I feel as if my anger is for a good reason though, if people weren't so full of $#%^ then I wouldn't be angry and I genuinely do think people are full of $#%^, when I admit I think most people are full of $#%^ they look at me like I'm the problem, I guess they just don't get it, hence blame me, but if they weren't like how they are then it wouldn't affect me more once I get angry, I think it's a mixture of what I've been through in the past and genetics.

What I read from here is that people have power over you. They can control you, and you are at their mercy. When you learn to have mechanisms to control your own anger, no matter what others do, or whether they are full of $#%^; they will not control you.

Let's say a person with nasty comments is able makes someone else angry. Well the person with nasty comments has all the power, because they only need to make a nasty comment for the other to loose control. However, if the angry person is able to find ways to deal with their anger, the nasty person will have no power over them.

Eschenbach wrote:Can anger be cured if it's genetic?

I believe there are powerful tools that can be learn to deal with anger. I don't think anger needs to be "cured" (I don't think it needs a cure), but we need to be equipped, or learn how, to deal with it.

Eschenbach wrote:Is it even a bad thing to be angry?

As an emotion I don't think it is a bad thing. However, how you act because of anger can be considered good or bad.

Eschenbach wrote:What if someone's attacking you, would it be good to remain passive?

Anger doesn't mean attack. I think it is completely normal to feel angry at a situation like that, understanding what the best reaction to that attack is ... well needs lots of introspection, and understanding of the situation.

In some instances it could actually be better to remain passive. Let's think back about slavery, someone was being attacked but they were famished, with no where to run, not armed, etc. Remain passive to a certain attacked might actually give them time to develop a successful escaping route. To talk to other people, to prepare, to eat, keep their live and come out of it alive.

Eschenbach wrote:Surely retaliation is sometimes good and sometimes you have to get angry, it's human nature to feature anger, it's not an irrational emotion, there's a good reason why we feel it, injustice, however people like to overlook injustice, I think that's worse than not featuring anger, they are at fault there and i hate them for it.

Yes, I believe anger is a human emotion. It's ok to feel it. However, we need to learn ways to deal with it. If injustice makes us angry, then don't be unfair. Then act and defend justice. Learning to use anger as a fuel for a clever action is way more useful than smashing and hurting yourself or others.

Sea

imo anger is a good thing many times. i've normally always been an angry person. it seemed to greatly help me get what i want. i was told my anger was a problem so then tried to calm down and relax. it seemed people were more likely to walk all over me when i kept it bottled up and made me even more mad because i would get the feeling that they were one up on me. i let my anger fly again and it seems to get me much more respect. people don't walk all over me as much because they are afraid of me being a huge a hole to them and treat them like crap until i pity them. i wont lie it has got me into trouble several times and i have been wrong many times. now im not the type to snap on just anyone. there is usually a good reason for it. some people never even seen it in me or would even believe it but it is because they are well behaved and have respect. much like i respect them.

anger is a bad thing if done at the wrong times. we are all guilty of it and it is just human nature. it is one of the easiest emotions to let control you. sometimes you have to get angry though. people that lack discipline and are disrespectful feel our wraths for a reason.

I think it's okay to think people are full of crap, each of us has our reason to justify our act but here is one thing - no amount of anger or slamming can change them to become less crappier. Find a healthy outlets for anger, like as they mentioned above kickboxing etc..

If someone say, tries to revoke your right on sth (your property, etc) it should and by right you should be angry - else we couldn't defend our right. But to deal with annoying people, or people full of crap in our daily lives.. perhaps a softer approach is best in this situation. Just note that we cannot do anything to change people to become less crappier, not with anger nor with the kind approach.

each of us are responsible for our own action, and if someone want to change, that has to starts from an awareness within oneself.

the thing with anger when dealing with people, is it breeds hard feelings and hatred, and things soon would spiralling down afterwards.. bad feelings and hatred among each other destroyed mankind/ human's relationships in the long run.

I am gonna give you 5 simple reason why anger is bad for your health.

5 reasons anger is bad for your health

1. It is bad for your heart
2. It literally makes your blood boil
3. It can seriously impair your judgement
4. It can actually give you headache
5. It can make your seriously depressed

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