Therapist triggering anger!

Hello,

Didn't really know where to post this, apologies if its in the wrong place

Ive been attending therapy for a few months now for anger/alcohol addiction (history of physical and emotional abuse) and at first found it really difficult to open up. I find it hard to feel any emotion and generally feel pretty rubbish. In my last session the therapist triggered my anger and he noticed he had triggered it, then made me "sit with it" it was soooo hard, I didn't know wether to walk out, have a drink, scream or throw something...but as I sat with it, the the anger turned to upset, I didn't tell the therapist that as I really didn't want to cry!! I just changed the subject. After the session I drank...alot!

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience? And if this a method for getting rid of anger? Any advice would be much appreciated!

Hi Em

Wow, that sounds like a really profound experience. Although it sounds like it was really hard for you, anger is a step in the right direction in therapy because it means we're getting in contact with our true feelings. Mental distress is often caused by us repressing feelings that weren't safe for us as children, including anger, and it sounds like you've been finding it hard to feel emotions in therapy. So well done for going there and for trying to sit with it.

The upset feeling can happen when the anger gets too much and turns inwards or it can be caused by how we feel about ourselves for being angry - sometimes we have feelings about our feelings. If you did feel able to share it with your therapist it might help you understand that feeling and yourself better, as well as the patterns that can stop you from being able to work through your anger, which sounds important to you. I think the way to get rid of anger is to accept it and speak about it and direct it onto the person you are really angry with from your past, all of which your therapist should be able to help you to do. I know it's incredibly hard to make yourself that vulnerable though and it sounds like you were protecting yourself by not telling your therapist, which is completely understandable.

Good luck with your therapy journey and I wish you all the best.

Lisa