by shelpmagazine » Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:02 am
Anger Management: You Can Gain Control
These are the ways you will learn how to deal with anger management in this article:
* Learn how to use the energy "rush" of anger in a positive way
* If something makes you angry, it's because you care- that's good!
* Habitual displays of anger shut down communication from others
* Anger management is a set of readily available skills, building on simple strategies like "time-out"
* Learn tactful, understanding responses that prevent confrontation from escalating
For starters, everyone gets angry, but as a society we pretend that only wicked people get angry, and in their out-of-control emotionality, they do terrible things. There isn't even a polite way to express anger. Anger is a little guilty secret that troubles nearly everyone, a universal emotion that no one seems to know how to handle properly.
Let's start by admitting that anger has its good, and useful, side. First, it tells you that you really care about whatever the subject is that has your blood boiling. If you don't care about something, are truly indifferent to it, it just can't make you angry! Secondly, anger presents you with an impressive burst of energy - lots of power to fix the problem, make a change, or solve a difficulty. But all we usually do with that energy burst is throw something and yell. So, again, here's a secret - a powerful resource at our disposal, if only we knew how to use it.
Third, anger is a very complicated thing. Sometimes it's connected with jealousy, with guilt, with frustrated wants, with fear, and with hurt. Sometimes it comes on quickly and sharply, other times it's more like a slow simmering. People have different levels of "normal" anger, the attitude they carry around all of the time. Those who are often impatient, frustrated, on their guard against being cheated, expecting bad things to happen, feeling watched all the time, those people carry a high level of anger, and it doesn't take much of an event to cause an explosion. Still others who are usually sad, jealous, resentful, disrespectful of others, insecure, and have feelings of worthlessness, also carry high levels of anger.