It's all BS.

All of it. People will say ANYTHING to make you feel better when they're just afraid of you.

The world is extremely capable of functioning without me, and this makes me angry because it means I'm an insignificant and redundant piece of the world machine.

It's like if there was an engine built, and someone decided to put a bolt into it that doesn't hold anything else together. That's me.

I don't care what you try to say to convince me otherwise, you're just saying it to reinforce your own beliefs about what's important.

Fair enough. However, a) by posting, maybe you are looking for a response... or at least a sounding board and b) your mention of redundancy resonates with me, and the way you wrote about it made me consider it from a different angle than I usually do.

Often I get depressed when I realize how redundant and replaceable and unnecessary I am. However, I also happen to be a linguist and a pattern seeker, and as such I know that redundancy is a necessary and beautiful element of a well-designed system. In order for a system to function efficiently and - importantly here - reliably, every function and part must be able to be filled by multiple elements. If one disappears, or malfunctions, or is overloaded or occupied, another with similar though not necessarily identical properties is available to step in and do whats needed. This as far as i know is true of languages, ecosystems, and lots of mechanical systems. Think digital devices with analog backups... etc. Its a thought. Helpful maybe, maybe not. I find it sorta comforting, without having gone any further in thinking about it.

gaerteuth wrote:All of it. People will say ANYTHING to make you feel better when they're just afraid of you.

The world is extremely capable of functioning without me, and this makes me angry because it means I'm an insignificant and redundant piece of the world machine.

It's like if there was an engine built, and someone decided to put a bolt into it that doesn't hold anything else together. That's me.

I don't care what you try to say to convince me otherwise, you're just saying it to reinforce your own beliefs about what's important.

What I am hearing is one big fat ego complaining.
It wants to be noticed, it is not you, but, just a big fat ego making a lot of noise to pull you down.
No one can convince it, it knows it all.
Listen to it and see what its up to. Its a trick, don't fall for it.

gaerteuth wrote:I don't care what you try to say to convince me otherwise, you're just saying it to reinforce your own beliefs about what's important.

I think your heart is trying to tell you that how you operate now is not how you should be. Right now, you are filled with negative emotions and your subconscious is trying to re-enforce those feelings. Those feelings are self-sabotaging you and creating a distorted view of the world.

Trust me, I used to think that way too. I never thought the world was bright and that I could never get a break. I always used to say that others were luckier than I and that was the way it was. In reality though, I have found that we can do truly whatever our hearts desire and that the world isn't out to get us. I just decided to live life how I wanted and not be bound by the chains of conventional society. I'm not saying to break the law, just the rules.