anyone out there need meds to stop anger...??

Yes, music, that is the one thing that does help. I had forgot that one.

I also found this to put in my thought for the day section.

"It is better to be patient than powerful.
It is better to win control over yourself
than over whole cities."

Proverbs 16:32

is she managing to keep the wounds open and keep your issues going?

yes, very much so,.....it's as if she feeds on it, like I"m her outlet and doormat.

Mother isn't trying to heal, she is and has always been in complete denial of her abuse. So has my step father.
She is just a radical, with bad intentions, and a worse attitude.

I'm putting this link so that others can understand the bpd anger.

http://psychforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2483

I'll write you someday on Mother. Think of me as a cross between norman bates, because of his mother, and cinderella. Thank God for my prince charming.

Can I ask....if you'd rather not write about this now, I respect that as you said "I'll write on my mother someday".....but you had mentioned you cut ties. Do you feel like you want ties cut 100%? Do you have called id? I mean do you feel like you have the strength to stand up to her and let her know that you are ending the relationship w/ her and there will be no more communication, end of story. You won't take her calls, you will return letters...won't answer or open e-mails...you won't answer the door if she comes....you won't speak to her in public and will walk in the other direction if she approaches....and if she pushes it to the absolute limits you will seek a restraining order? I mean do you feel it's so bad that you would have to lay it out in this manner for her to realize that you need to make this break? Or are you more so wanting to cut out certain areas of conversation with her...cut ties w/ certain parts of your life but not so much looking to 100% end your relationship w/ her?

Again....if you are not ready to discuss this w/ me or even on the boards in general...I respect that....threads have a way of getting in areas you never expected them too!!! And Thomas.....didn't mean to lose you in all of this.....I've not forgotten you so when you do log back on....jump right in and keep talking w/ us. Ddee and I are still waiting and hoping to hear all of your feedback on everything!!!

Hi Angel.

yes, I have caller ID, and was curious and thought I'd give her another chance. But blah blah blah.some $#%^ different day.

I told her a month ago, she was driving me crazy and I wanted her out of my life, point blank. She said "Is that what you want?" I said , "yes".

She has no email, she lives far away now, powdering my brothers ass.......
And doesn't come to visit. She knows the rules on that. If your not invited , don't knock.

A restraining order? NO. She is no physical harm to me now. We have had that battle years ago. She won't ever touch me again.


I feel I can't allow her to continue this.......I let it go on toooooo long already. ...........
Her and her husband deserve eachother.

up until a couple of days ago it was school yard bullies and the fact I didn't want mom and dad to make any mistakes in letting me suffer...

finally yesterday or WED, well, it was like God unscrewed my mind and poured forgiveness into my soul and I walked into the "light and freedom of forgiveness"??

all this time and in a couple of months I'll be 39...??

Like the Israelies with Moses, wandering in the wilderness for 40 yrs...

Well, I don't expect my anger to be over forever nor never to need meds, the sickness of PMMI [pesistent major mental illness...] is not gone... just a notch or two knocked down from its level of intensity...??

That is just too cool. I'm so happy for you. I hope you continue to heal is this area.