Recent Anger

Hey there,

I'm new to the forum and I found this reading up on anger issues.

I've always had a temper but recently it seems to be more reactive than ever, I've never hurt anybody (physically) due to this but it's taken a more destructive path. If I get angry at something it'll most probably end up broken depending on the severity, if I think back it's happened so many times over my life; even when I was younger.

I'm a 30 year old guy that's ironically laid back about most things. The way I see it is that I have two types of anger, the first one is the stupid little things I get annoyed and unsettled about, though I never really loose it to these types of things, I just moan about them a lot but at the same time really annoys me. The second is the worst where something doesn't go right with something I'm using, and this escalates until it ends up broken or something, it's embarrassing to admit this but I hit myself all the time as a way to release some of the anger (And as an attack on myself), if I don't I'll feel like I'm going to explode, have a breakdown or my heart's gonna explode and it's the worst feeling ever, it's like a release, I think that's kinda how it works for me - which is how I end up with things broken or bruises on my face and lumps on my head I have to explain away.

I have tried to control this when I start feeling the pressure of it, but it's seriously like another personality that controls you (as cheesy as that might sound) and all that goes out the window, it's incredibly hard to back down once it starts, and if I somehow manage this the more I think about it the more it becomes like a more personal attack - it's difficult to explain. But I know a time out is the answer, as so often in the past (and recently) I always experience regret and stupidity over how I reacted or felt.

Computers, technology and games are the three main reasons I loose it, it's so easy to just say I'll avoid them, but I don't think avoidance coping is the answer. I'm sick and tired of having this issue with me, and as I sit typing this on a cracked laptop screen I'm kindly asking for any suggestions or advice.

Thanks.

Maybe the things that you have repressed in the past are coming to the fore, now that life is better. Maybe a therapist could help you parce it all out.

Turning anger on yourself, makes it worse, and strengthens the conditioned loop, and is a sign of self-hatred.
Lower your expectations of things. Wanting from life perfection, which it will never provide, results in frustration. Being wise is seeing that everything breaks down, changes and is without ultimate importance.
A person devoid of joy, rest and peace, is more prone to anger.
Strengthen those positive emotions. Develop compassion for others and the subpersonalities inyou (anger, fear, joy, guilt, ...).
The trick is listening to the anger, it wants to help you. Follow ir to its core by feeling its message, its fundament attitude at the root.
Cooperate with the anger. As your friend, it wants the same ad your rational mind wants: things to be better. Use the intensity and libido of the anger to take constructive action.
Postpone impulsive hurting of yourself, by making a deal wuth the anger that you are a team and will wait to kick your own body till the next day, and now you will do something positive of which the outcome is good for you and the anger-desire.

greetz

You have described a clear case of domestic violence, apparently against yourself.

I believe this is a crime. I suggest next time you are assaulted by yourself that you call the police. They will arrest yourself and ensure that you are separated from yourself, and indeed impose an AVO forbidding you from being around yourself.

On a more serious note.

I have this image of some guy playing Xbox games all day then breaking the controller cause the game is frustrating?

If you hit yourself, it does indicate that you are having trouble coping with your emotions in general.

I can only suggest that there are most certainly issues under the surface you need to address about your life, and that you need to develop ways to learn to cope with your emotions and "sooth" and calm yourself down.

A psychologist may be very helpful to you.

Minus,


You shouldn't go too hard on yourself. I myself am a gamer and have had many instances in the past where I got way more angry than I should have, so I know what it's like what you're going through.
The thing you have to realize is that anger is controllable, and that you choose to let yourself get to the boiling point. As I've gone down the road of my life, I've realized that the only reason we get angry at little things is because something else is bother us, deeper inside. These frustrations manifest in the current situation we are focused on, and the anger takes control.
If you want to change your life and how you control your anger, you have to identify what are the things in your life that are bothering you. Once you do that, you can label them and work toward changing yourself. When you get rid of these, the anger will seep with them.
That's what I had to do, and once I did, everything in my life got better. Anger hurts more than it helps. Just walk away from the negative people and things in your life and the space you make will be taken over with positivity.