Looking for others in my shoes

Hello, my name is Dee and I am new here. I have been looking for a discussion board that was specifically geared toward anger and was so happy to find this one. I have had anger and impulse control issues my whole life and am constantly trying to be a better person. Lately I have come to realize that I am still an angry impatient person and I don't want to be anymore.

I worked with an A type personality person last year and we didn't get along at all. We were friends until we worked together and I just seemed to do and say everything wrong even though it was not my intention. She moved on to another job and I am now working with someone else. I try to be kind and polite but sometimes my impatience and annoyance comes out and I don't mean it to. I just feel like I always somehow come off the wrong way even though I try to be nice. She on the other hand gets away with rude and crude comments but kisses up to everyone. I just can't bring myself to kiss up to people, especially the moody bunch of people I work with, so any little thing I do I get chastised for. I put up with the lady I work with's moods all the time, but she seems to have no tolerance for any anxiety or anger on my part.

Why is it so hard for me to just come across as pleasant all the time. I sure feel like I try but I just don't seem to be coming off that way according to the person I work with. I wish someone could just sit down and tell me what is wrong with my personality so I can fix it. I seem to do well with people outside of work but I just don't seem to do well working closely every day with people. I am just so down on myself and I just don't want to be impatient and angry anymore. I do go to counseling but it is every other week due to the cost and scheduling and I really can use advice and support in between. Obviously this is not something I can discuss openly with just anyone, so here I am, really depressed and disgusted with myself. I just feel so alone in this.

Im sorry to hear that. Just know that people feel the same way you do and I will keep you in my thoughts. I think you should take some time and find things you love to do and maybe get into meditation (i know it may sound a little iffy, trust me, but it does wonders for some peole). When you love yourself (which is my problem) then you can love anything and accept anything. If people cant accept the way you are, then they arent meant to socialize with you. Are you sure your annoying and say the wrong things or do you just think that? I hope anything i said helps you, and if u need anymore help just ask.