Rage and Fury

I've fallen sick with a bad flu-like bacteria infection and I'm on 1000mgs of penicillin, and can't go outside or do anything. I'm sooooooo restless. I'm also angry. I'm angry at everything and everybody. I'm angry at my friend for saying I'm embarrassment to her, angry at my insane family for emotionally abusing me, angry at myself for not being able to do more for my siblings, angry at myself for always getting sick, angry at myself for not being productive enough, angry that I can't drink while I'm on these painkillers, angry that I'm too shaky to drive, angry at the damn dog for being so loud, angry at my head and spine for hurting so damn much, angry at myself for not being physically fit enough, angry and jealous of the people who are out having a good time...stressed because I had such bad nightmares and I'm mentally unstable and I can't sleep, I just want to go on a rampage and scream as loud as I can -- oh wait, I temporarily lost my voice from the infection.

F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK

ooooh, ouch. I feel sorry for you, sounds like you're on a *realllll* bumpy road at the minute. Do you have a friend you can trust to look after you? It might help being around someone you can trust that isn't family. I would say not to be stressed, but given your conditions that's not happening, try to alleviate the stress the best you can, it gives your body a chance to work miracles. I'm no doctor, but it helps to remain calm, even when I'm in the mood to murder someone.

Do you know of anything that calms you down (music, films, anime?). Try watching/listening to that. And don't worry about being less productive, your sick. Not just that, but very sick, you *need* to relax and do *nothing*. That's what doctors recommend, also, If you don't like the medication, lemsip (the lemon tasting tablets you put in your water) worked well for me, and it shouldn't dry your throat out (of course take it with your prescribed drugs, not instead of).

penicillin is an antibiotic, not a painkiller, take paracetamol or aspirin as a supplement, that will remove the pain (not completely but more than penicillin does).

Please don't take any of what I've said the wrong way, I only mean to help. Get well soon