Dependent personality mother with Dementia!

Does anyone out there have experience with this problem? My mother is a very dependent person and probably meets the criteria for Dependent Personailty Disorder. She also has dementia. The move to a rest home seems to have triggered her dependency needs and now she has the aides calling us constantly. Since she forgets she has talked to us she calls over and over again. We are totally exhausted from her neediness. She could care less about the other residents or all the activities the rest home offers. All she wants is us - no substitutions - and we are plum worn out. I fear the only thing that will soothe her is to be with us 24/7. Please help!!!

I am sorry you are going through this. Have you spoken to the staff at the home as they may have some suggestions about what to do as it is likely they have come across this before. Good luck

Cracked

Hi IslandLass, I also think that it would be beneficial to know the view of the staff of care Home as dependent personality disorder makes a person full of anxiety and feels so helpless that he could not start anything without any help. I think it would not be possible to completely cure this disorder unlike other disorders. Person is not able to make a quick decision most of the time and finds it difficult to be alone anywhere. Psychotherapy is the most effective method which is used to get relief from such kind of disorder although complete treatment would not be possible

Yes, I absolutely have the same situation, and it is heartbreaking. Growing up, my mother went through a divorce, and she latched onto me as the older daughter. Then when I got married; she found someone and got married, and suddenly I didn't exist. She became so latched onto her husband that every sentence began with "Bob and I." I couldn't even sit near her without her sitting and holding his hand. She decided to move from Connecticut to Florida with him, because he had 5 kids, and she didn't want to deal with them. When she moved 2000 miles away, I was heartbroken; but she told me I would get over it. She missed all the years of my son (her grandson) growing up, and when she did visit, all she cared about was being with her husband, and going back to Florida. Her husband died at age 79, and the day he died, she latched onto my single sister, Sarah and moved back up to Connecticut to live with Sarah for five years. My mother never went back to her home in Florida She started to use phrases like "Sarah and I." She was extremely despondent and lost lots of weight. Finally, my sister couldn't take it anymore. My mother was losing her mind.

Long, story short, we had to finally place her in a dementia unit; this time closer to my house. This place is gorgeous. It is like a 5 star hotel, with excellent food, activities all day, maid service, bus trips. It is bright and clean, and yet all my mother does is keep packing to go home with SARAH. She calls SARAH night and day. They finally had to take the key from my mother, because she tripped over her own things that she packed by the door, and knocked herself out, and landed in the hospital (another day of hysteria). She threatened to put a bullet in her head, and she landed in the hospital psych ward. The psychologists are trying to get her on some type of anti-anxiety andepressant medications. She pegged her whole life on her husband, and when he deceased, she glued herself to my sister, and my sister burnt out. I visit at least twice a week, and every weekend we go out for a ride and ice cream. Now my mother wants me to sleep over with her in a semi-private room in the dementia ward. Sometimes, she forgets it is me and calls me Sarah. She is angry, because she said she came up North to be with her kids, and noone cares, so she threatens to go back to Florida. She can't go anywhere, because she is now 82 and has moderate to severe dementia. They don't know if it is Alzheimers, but it is really bad. The guilt I feel is enormous, because she is so unhappy. don't know how much longer I will have her, and I want to enjoy our time together.