What makes me drink

I'm currently sober but I've had a lot of problems with alcohol abuse in the past. I realize now that I was being triggered into drinking due to problems related to other people in my life. I think relationship problems, arguments with friends or family, and stresses that other people cause me led to me attempting to self medicate and numb my brain with alcohol. Unfortunately I take medication, which becomes completely ineffective when I mix my meds with alcohol, so I've been forced to stop since alcohol now makes me plummet. I know I'm better off without it but I miss drinking, I miss having that comfort and knowing that I had a harmful coping mechanism that I could lose myself in. Has anyone else become more self aware of what caused you to abuse alcohol? And did you identify your main reason to quit?

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Hi Rob.

Yeah I'm ok, thank you for asking. Self awareness is a big step and I've reached it now.

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I'll sleep soon, I'm letting myself get tired naturally, I've found it's a good way to make me calm without taking anything.

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If you don't mind me asking, are you alcoholic too?

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Ah yes, the paranoia. I have that too when I feel more awake.

Hi HopeU

HopeU wrote:I know I'm better off without it but I miss drinking, I miss having that comfort and knowing that I had a harmful coping mechanism that I could lose myself in.

I could have written this. I've been having a lot of similar feelings lately, and I've been wondering if it ever goes away. I know from experience that it can go away temporarily, sometimes for a long time, but then there's always that stressful situation, depression or whatever that crops up and brings it all back with full force...

HopeU wrote:Has anyone else become more self aware of what caused you to abuse alcohol? And did you identify your main reason to quit?

I could say it was the break up of a relationship that caused me to abuse alcohol, but I think that was probably more of a trigger - the potential for abuse was probably always there. I've been over that relationship for a very long time now, but my issues with alcohol never really went away.

So far it's been other people who've made me decide to quit. I know that isn't a good reason, but there it is. Not that I never wanted to quit for myself, but the conflicting urge to drink was always too overwhelming in the end.