help me please!!

I am a 20 year old, healthy female. but when i go out with friends and party i end up drinking and it always gets out of control and i always end up 'getting' with a boy or sleeping with him etc. the next day i wake up and i feel so bad about myself i dont want to face the facts. its like self-destruction, and its the same pattern every time. i just feel that once i start drinking - usually start with beer, then spirits? i am not an alcoholic but i just want to stop drinking altogether as i feel i turn into a completely different person when i drink. im aware of this and i have also lost good friends/boyfriend in my life becaues of this. im sick of hurting people and hurting myself and my mental health. could you please help me? the thought of stopping drinking is such a daunting idea, but i would like to giv it a shot.

i would completely appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me.

aleksa

Hi, aleksa

I'm really sorry to hear your troubles. My granddad on dad's side was addicted to drinking himself and you're right. Left unchecked, it can (and will) destroy you one way or another.
I can understand that giving up drinking seems a daunting task, but if you want help, you're in the right sort of place.
My personal advice would be to talk to someone you love and trust and tell them about this like your local doctor. You could even explain it to your friends if you feel they're listen. Maybe you could consider therapy to help discuss your problems or join a group like Alcoholics Anonymous? If you don't feel like talking, you can write down your problems and worries. It really does help. If someone knows about this, it could help you give up.

Hope this helps. Stay strong and positive.

You sound exactly like me at one time. I really know where you are coming from and I don't have to tell you what a dangerous road you are on. I risked my life many times trusting the wrong person. It is easy to get in over your head when your judgement is impaired. There are bad people out there looking for people just like you to victimize.
I think I was like that because I was looking for love and I confused that for someone's interest in me sexually. Being an alcoholic intensified that and impaired my thinking. I would blackout and wake up regretful of what I'd done the night before. I wanted to stop, I didn't know how.
The first thing I did was I forgave myself for everything, and I vowed to love myself and not rely on others ever again for my self worth. I worked on myself and very importantly: I Quit Drinking.

However you can do this, through AA or other help or like me, on my own. whatever it takes. you can do it. You are still young and cute now. You don't want to end up like those old hag bar flys, do you? That scared me straight. and now, I'm 8 years sober and happy. ( still cute at 41)And proud of myself.
You are stronger than you think you are.

Hi Aleksa, sounds like you are not travelling to well at the moment. Sorry to hear that. I am an alcoholic and I got sober when I was 22 years old and almost dead. I went to AA as the absolute last resort, I tried everything else first, I would rather have been a certified lunatic than an alcoholic at age 22. Some of the things you talk about happened to me like 1 drink making me thirsty and having to keep going until I dropped, and doing many things I regret, betraying my own values. Still, you state you are not an alcoholic, so this should be a simple problem to fix. Just don't drink, or just have one or two drinks like normal drinkers. In fact you could try an experiment. Step into a bar and have one or two drinks and then stop. Try it more than once. See how you get on. I tried this on the advice of a counsellor and couldn't even manage it once, I was out of control straight away. But as you are not an alcoholic it should be easy for you.
Please let us know how you get on.
Best of luck, Mike H.

aleksa wrote:I am a 20 year old, healthy female. but when i go out with friends and party i end up drinking and it always gets out of control and i always end up 'getting' with a boy or sleeping with him etc. the next day i wake up and i feel so bad about myself i dont want to face the facts. its like self-destruction, and its the same pattern every time. i just feel that once i start drinking - usually start with beer, then spirits? i am not an alcoholic but i just want to stop drinking altogether as i feel i turn into a completely different person when i drink. im aware of this and i have also lost good friends/boyfriend in my life becaues of this. im sick of hurting people and hurting myself and my mental health. could you please help me? the thought of stopping drinking is such a daunting idea, but i would like to giv it a shot.

i would completely appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me.

aleksa

Its possible you're just a problem drinker, thats to say....if you stop drinking the problem will go away, you may even need medical intervention to help you stop but that still doesn't prove you are alcoholic. So many end up in AA who aren't alcoholic,

The question in the offical AA book is this, if you find you can't control your intake when drinking, or if when not drinking you can't leave it alone, then you are probably one of us.

The good news is they have a real solution, its simple, free and leads to a life beyond your wildest imagination. The solution I speak of is not AA meetings, if all a person does is attend meetings they will never recover. The solution is the program, meetings are merely fellowship and good fun.
The program is the 12 steps, I got into the steps and was free almost immediately, after a few days I was into step 9 and having a ballistic spiritual awakening, I was atheist when I started.

aleksa wrote:I am a 20 year old, healthy female. but when i go out with friends and party i end up drinking and it always gets out of control and i always end up 'getting' with a boy or sleeping with him etc. the next day i wake up and i feel so bad about myself i dont want to face the facts. its like self-destruction, and its the same pattern every time. i just feel that once i start drinking - usually start with beer, then spirits? i am not an alcoholic but i just want to stop drinking altogether as i feel i turn into a completely different person when i drink. im aware of this and i have also lost good friends/boyfriend in my life becaues of this. im sick of hurting people and hurting myself and my mental health. could you please help me? the thought of stopping drinking is such a daunting idea, but i would like to giv it a shot.

i would completely appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me.

aleksa

You have dipsomania. Dipsomaniacs can drink huge amounts of alcohol and still stand, its as though you are sleep walking.

There is no verified cure (possibly buffalo thorn), you do not have the bodily enzymes needed to break down the alcohol.

As you drink your enzymes struggle to break down the alcohol. Your body is triggered into thinking it is in a desert and goes into thirst mode. You drink more and faster and blackout, only you are still functioning, as though you are sleep walking.

You can quit drinking alcohol altogether as suggested or you can experiment in a controlled situation as to how much you can drink before dipsomania kicks in, this may only be after two drinks. If it is two drinks you then move on to non-alcoholic drinks and drink as many as these as you like.

Famous dipsomaniacs include Ernest Hemingway and Marilyn Monroe.

http://fr.wikidoc.org/index.php/Dipsomania

Noun 1. dipsomaniac - a person who drinks alcohol to excess habitually
alcoholic, alky, boozer, lush, souse, soaker
drunk, drunkard, inebriate, rummy, sot, wino - a chronic drinker.

I didn't like any of these labels, possibly would have been happy with boozer or inebriate though, for me lunatic would have been preferable to maniac(dipso). I am not sure which one would be the most stigmatized but I have noticed a sober alcoholic seems to be more socially acceptable than the others.

Mike.

It's very bad condition of you. You have to keep control on your alcohol addiction and yourself otherwise you will suffer from many horrible diseases. I am not scaring to you but it can be happen. So plz control your alcohol addiction very soon.