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Help! my friendly neighbor has an alcohol problem!

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Help! my friendly neighbor has an alcohol problem!

Postby honeykiss » Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:04 am

Just moved in apt complex less than a month ago, my friendly neighbor 2 doors down has confided in me that he is alcoholic and attending AA meetings. I have been there to listen to him disclose personal details of his life, he was sexually abused when he was junior high. I told him that I was too. I explained how at some point you must stop dwelling on abuse and decide to forgive and move on and decide to be positive. I love life too much and understand how abusers were once abused.
Also, the cycle continues unless you decisively break the chain with loving yourself more than hating either yourself or the abuser. Anyway, we have had many in depth talks about spirituality and other topics.
I explained how much of a great read "astrology for the soul" has been for me ans actually led me back to christianity.
Author Jan Spiller.
So he started feeling comfortable coming over whenever I was home.
This made me uneasy because everytime he came he had some new problem, I also have read psychic vampires and immediately recognized me feeling fatigued and he left feeling great.
Last week he got drunk, which is an unknown disease for me.
That night he came over 3 times slurring how great he feels now that he knows me and since I was on the phone with my best friend was able to ask him to leave because I was busy.
He started texting me and turned on me when I did not respond, asking why I was ignoring him.
He came over several more times knocking loudly and continued texting.
Next morning he came over early and apologized. I said that I felt awkward cuz I didn't know to respond to that sort of behaviour. It was forgotten.
Today he came over early and kept coming over, I finally explained how I didn't want him to take it the wrong way but that my 1st half of the day I need to myself because that's when I meditate and welcome the day with positive affirmations. I like to pray, give thanks to God and Universe and listen to christian music, only after this can I feel ready to welcome the world. I like my solitude. He said he was sorry and that I should just tell him if he's being a pest. I said dont take it that way please, I just need my space. Well he went and got drunk and has been harassing me all night with very manipulative negative texts. I asked him to stop and that he was better than that and that we would talk when he was sober, he continues. I got mad and told him again that only when he was sober would I talk if he still felt inclined but that I would not join his pity party or be subjected to his aggression just because of neighborly association. He continues. I called the landlord to explain situation and asked him to talk to him tomorrow, since I don't feel it would lead to positive outcome tonight. He agreed to talk to him tomorrow. He lives 2 doors down and I am worried about how to best handle him from now on. I refuse to be a prisoner in my own home in order to avoid him but don't want to avail myself to further abuse at this point.
Any advice? He also confided a week ago that he stopped going to AA because it was too depressing and negative.
With Light and Love
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Re: Help! my friendly neighbor has an alcohol problem!

Postby jasmin » Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:58 pm

Hi, honeykiss! It's good that you told your land lord and tried to set some boundaries with your neighbor too... Maybe he needs actual therapy together with the AA meetings.
Stick around, hopefully people will have more suggestions.
You were kind to this man and he should take some responsibility for his behavior and try to control how he treats you.
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Re: Help! my friendly neighbor has an alcohol problem!

Postby recoveredandfun » Wed Nov 23, 2011 4:21 pm

Your peace of mind is more important than anything. It appears your neighbor is threatening that. I'm sure you have concern for him, but there's nothing you can do to change his behavior. He's the one that has to change. Establish clear and healthy boundaries. Let your neighbor know what you will and won't tolerate...and also clearly define the consequences to him shoud he violate your boundaries. If he wants help for his drinking...maybe refer him to AA.

The bottom line is do what you need to for yourself. Here's an article I found on freemyaddict.com about dealing with alcoholicsand addicts that won't listen.
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Re: Help! my friendly neighbor has an alcohol problem!

Postby Devid8787 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:37 am

You can talk with peace mind with your neighbor. If your neighbor treat very friendly with you then you should help for him. You can take help from rehab center and any expert doctor. You will definitely control his addiction problem.
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