Ashley's Alochol Diary

This thread is dedicated to my drinking and my problems with it how much I drank, what happened when I did etc.

First off I'm Ashley, I'm twenty almost twenty-one. I go to college at UC Irvine in southern Califronia. I've never really been a big drinker really until earlier this year when I just got totally wasted at a party and the next night someone talked me into drinking a lot again and eventaully I just got use to being really drunk all the time and now I feel like I can't stop.

September 3rd

This morning I woke up around noon, naked in a stranger's bed with a used condom stuck to my leg feeling like absolute crap. I had to throw up and felt a little dried puke on lip so I'm assuming it wasn't the first time. I went to a bar with friends that night I remember having a few shots of vodka and tequilla and a couple of margaritas but I'm sure there was more I didn't remember. I remember talking to some guys but I don't remember getting picked up or anything. I planned on drinking a little not a lot but that obviously didn't happen. I couldn't find all my clothes when I kind of got back to my senses, I had to get a ride home from a friend wearing just a skirt and a bra. I've done better tonight just drinking a beer and a few shots.

Hi there,

Judging by your use of words, I assume that you are disgusted by your own behaviour? Please don't take this as an attack because Iam genuinely curious. Anyway, What are we to do with you... ...? You can continue this 'diary' if you want to, or else you can try to change things right now. You can write and write and write - and it can help - but ultimately you will have to make BIG changes...

...actually, wait, they aren't BIG changes. Instead, they are little changes. All you must do is say to yourself that you are sick/tired of living life the way you are now, get used to saying 'NO!' to people (and subsequently become more self-confidant/proud), and then get on with your life, steering it in the way that you can be proud of.

Kevin

September 5th

Another bad night for me on Friday, I went out with some of my girl friends and I think we all got drunk I can't remember that well all I know is I woke up around ten thirty or eleven laying next to one of them in my bed wearing just my underwear and another was laying on the floor. One of my friends said she remembered me and my best friend Courtney having a lot of vodka and grabbing each other in the chest area as well as kissing. I did a find a nearly empty tequila bottle on my counter and a few empty beer cans on my bedroom floor. The hangover wasn't as bad as last time but my head still hurt.

Kevin, thanks for your support I am a little bit disgusted with myself thats kind of why I started this just to remind myself what happens to me after I drink, but I know that I just seeing what happens won't stop it I still need to try but rigth now I don't know if I can see. If I see alochol and I see other people with alochol I just automatically get my own drink, sometimes just to losen me up and some times because I feel like I need it just to get through the day or have a fun night out, obviously if I go too far I lose control and that's what I need to stop

September 7th

Going to Labor Day Ladies Night a local club with friends, hopefully won't drink much if at all. Pray for me

Ok, but do you want me to continue replying or do you want to have this thread exclusively for you? I think that it's a great idea what you're doing, and certainly I'd like to see you continue it.

I dont care if anyone replies if they want to make a comment or anything that's fine with me. This next one will have two days covered

September 7th (Sunday)

Went to Ladies Night at Club and was doing pretty good for a while until my friend talked me into doing some contest thing in American Flag Bikinis on Poles with her. I was really neverous about doing it so I basically double the amount I had been drinking leading up when I went out. After that it all went downhill and I used some of the tips to buy expensive stuff I couldn't afford normally and it was good but it was bad that I was having them, you know. Plus people so saw offered me drinks and I really just fell apart. I kept drinking some of friends said I went back on stage I don't remember I just woke up with someone I'd never seen before the next morning with a half empty bottle of vodka at the bed side.

September 8th (Monday)

My head kind of hurt but I stuck it up and went to a barbeque party in my neighborhood. There was a beer and with my head hurting and stuff I caved, it felt either just to drink it then to be good. I spend the whole afternoon drinking and eating but it felt weird it was like when I normally drink and I feel all happy and lose and like I could do anything. I just felt like crap and spend from like 5-7 in the bathroom puking. I need one of my roomates to carry me home and put me to bed. It wasn't a good labor day

i really enjoy this thread, i think because i can relate to you, being a college girl who drinks too much.

I haven't updated this in a while but here is a quick recap of sorts

Tuesday-Thursday of last week, no going out, jsut a little beer and vodka at home

Friday and Saturday defanately not as good, I went out and partied my ass (and pants) off. Friday I went to club drank a hell of a lot more then I should've. Friday Night was at the a club where I partied drank got friendly with guys and according to my friend's I kissed oen of the dancers' asses I don't know. I do know that I woke up with one of the dancers's sequen bras and panties on the floor of the bed I slept in some guy's house. Then Saturday was a pool party which had a lot of drinks laying around and I was already in a swimsuit and I just wanted to have a good time and let lose. I let way too lose. I drank, my friend's sent me some picture's of me by the pool naked, they said I kept saying how I want to skinny dip and some other people acutally got into the pool and skinny dipped with me but seeing the pictures of me running around naked like an idoit really made feel sick to my stomach. Plus the hangover from that was one of the worst I've ever had.

Any way moving on from my hellish drinking weekend, Sunday night through Tuesday Night I was good, I stayed in I only drank a little.

Wednesday night was really bad though. I went out on a date with the guy I woke up with on Saturday morning, first we went to dinner where I had a couple glasses of wine. Then he asked me if I want to go to the club and I decided since I was going out I was going to have a good time so I agreed to go. Well first he we got a couple of rounds then he got a beer and I got a margarita, before he was half way done wiith his beer I was onto a vodkatini. Then more shots, then I kind of lost track and I just started dancing and according to Chris, my date I was really coming onto him after about my fifth or six round of shots and three margarita's as a few cocktails and beers. We went back to his house and he says I got out his bottle of Jim Bean and a had a few more beers. I woke up this morning with a massive hangover in my underwear with puke on my lip and a garbage can at the bedside.

That is all I've got theres some updates, I don't think I'm getting much better, the problem may be getting worse. Now instead of drinking a lot every night. I just drink a ton in a period of a day or two.

I think I want to start this up again first off I want to come clean on some things and one of those things is showing pictures of me when I'm drunk. They're racy but there's no nudity is that ok if I show them

Pm me the pics, I'll tell you if they're okay to post or not.

At any rate, if you want any sort of help here, I think you'll need to come clean on a lot of things. I'm thinking your alcohol problem may be secondary to something else. Helping you curb your drinking won't do you a lot of good if that's really the case.