Adult children of alcoholics

Anyone here have alcoholic parents? Both of mine were. My mother wasted away and died when I was 13. It was a geat relief when she was gone. It was one of the roots of my avpd. I was wondering if people with avpd were more likely to have alcoholic parents.

Here are supposed to be groups for ACOA. i've never seen one near me though.

Parador wrote:Anyone here have alcoholic parents? Both of mine were. My mother wasted away and died when I was 13. It was a geat relief when she was gone. It was one of the roots of my avpd. I was wondering if people with avpd were more likely to have alcoholic parents.

lets say, people with alcoholic parents will tend to develope avpd/mentally illness easier than children with "normal" parents.
i was raised in a single parent home by my mother who is mentally ill herself. my father has been a coward for a very long time and decided to keep my existance a secrete.

those were some major factors for my avoident tendencies.

maybe i will start a new thread regarding avpd and beeing raised by a single parent.

I'm not avoidant but I have an alcoholic mother.
There are ACA groups (Adult Child of Alcoholic) but if there isn't a group meeting near you, there is an ACA book that is published by ACA International. If anyone is interested, PM me and I'll give you the info to order. It is full of information that is very helpful to those raised in alcoholic homes.

I'm almost an adult does that count?

I wouldn't say my mum is an alcoholic yet anyway but she def has a drinking problem, and I grew up around my grandmother who was an alcoholic.

venceremos wrote:

Parador wrote:Anyone here have alcoholic parents? Both of mine were. My mother wasted away and died when I was 13. It was a geat relief when she was gone. It was one of the roots of my avpd. I was wondering if people with avpd were more likely to have alcoholic parents.

lets say, people with alcoholic parents will tend to develope avpd/mentally illness easier than children with "normal" parents.
i was raised in a single parent home by my mother who is mentally ill herself. my father has been a coward for a very long time and decided to keep my existance a secrete.

those were some major factors for my avoident tendencies.

maybe i will start a new thread regarding avpd and beeing raised by a single parent.

I have heard that people who have alcoholic parents, are more likely to develop borderline personality disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder as well as AvPD.

My mother was a really severe alcoholic. She would scream obscenities, throw bottles, and abused my dog. Finally killed the dog one day. I remember we couldn't even watch TV with her around. I remember once the olympic figure skating was on and she started yelling " Get down on and the ice and SCREW HER. It will feel cold, but not for long! Just SCREW HER!" She did that kind of thing a lot. She would yell at me a lot and call me stupid or retarded. She would tell me I was crazy and would end up in a psych hospital one day. My father didn't really do anything. He just got drunk too. He wasn't a mean drunk, just a passive drunk. One night he did beat her up in frustration.

Mom set herself on fire twice that I remember. She liked to smoke 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day. I remember once when I was 9 or 10. The last time when I was 12 I remember really well. Mom was in bed smoking and drinking and ranting "masterbate, masterbate, masterbate!" I went in to take a shower. I had one of those feelings that something was going to happen. In the shower I suddenly heard my father mother,and sister screaming. I got out and there was mom on fire in her bed. They wanted water to put her out. My sister finally had the composure to cover her with a blanket. then she went to the hospital where they treated her burns and sobered her up.

She ended up in the hospital more times than I can count. I remember the time when I was only 8 and she almost drowned in the bathtub. It really would have been best if she had died then. But dad fished her out of the tub and gave her mouth to mouth. I vividly remember the gurgling sounds. He got a real scared look on his face and said to call an ambulance. I froze, My sister went into the bedroom and called. She got all upset when they asked her which ambulance service she wanted. How was she supposed to know? Then the cops came and started questioning me and my sister. It was clear that they suspected he had tried to kill her. That was almost as scary as her drowning. i thought they were going to lock up my father and leave me with psycho mom. I remember the cops asking me if my father had ever hit my mother. I guess she still had some bruising left from that one time he beat her up. She had hit him a couple of times first. he was not a violent man at all. I hesitated and then said "no' to the cop. But I knew he knew I was lying by the look on my face. I was so ######6 scared. I was always scared when mom was alive.

Her heart/liver finally gave out when I was 13. I remember she had been taken to the hospital after calling an ambulannce and telling them she couldn't breath. I figured it would be a nice weeks break from the horror until she came home. When my sister and I came home from school my father told us that mom had died the night before. I still remember he said that he couldn't bring himself to tell us when we woke up in the morning that our mother was dead. I was so relieved that she was gone. I still vividly remember my first thought "Thank God, it's finally over." Then I started crying and thinking how terrible it was that I wished my mother dead. I got over that pretty fast though.

now that I'm suspended from my job I have all this time to think and remember stuff like that. I don't want to remember this stuff.

My dad was an alcoholic, and I developed all sorts of problems: alcoholism, bipolar disorder, compulsive eating (went to 300 pounds), and ADHD. AA stopped my drinking, but Adult Children of Alcoholics really helped with many issues. I control my bipolar mostly with exercise and cognitive therapy. Pills give me major side effects. There are also many excelent books on ACOA. Some places offer special programs that can be helpful. I learned that I was not alone and that others felt just as I did.
Good Luck,
Jim S

I find it strange that my post has been moved to the substance abuse forum. I don't and never have had an issue with substance abuse. I saw what it did to my parents so I decided to never used any drugs. I was wondering if many other people with avpd had alcoholic parents also. It seems to me that the fear I constantly felt as a child lead to my avpd.

As long as we are here I am curiuos. How many other people with alcoholic parents made the decision to never used drugs?

I too cant find ACOA meetings near me. I live in England and the nearest one is one hour and half drive away
There is a brilliant book that helped me. You can read it here for free
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=TPPV ... q=&f=false

Thanks. But as someone with avpd I thought it would be good to try out talking to real people.