ALCOHOL ABUSE VERSUS DEPENDENCE

Hi I'm new here, and would appreciate some help. Male, 54 yrs old. Drinking since teens. Continued thru marriage. Psychological dependence on alcohol. Marital problems led me to attend addiction clinic. Diagnosis: alcohol abuser( 18 pints a week usually weekends)which would lead to dependence if continued. Quit drinking 4 mnths ago. No physical withdrawl. My wife wants me to admit I'm an alcoholic. For the sake of saving our marriage Iwould like to do this but I'm resisting this not just because of the diagnosis but if I'm honest I think its because I would like to think that I could drink moderately in the future. Could this be me in denial, and if so could I be alcohol dependent? I know these are labels but the distinction for me at least is important.

traolach wrote:Psychological dependence on alcohol.

Diagnosis: alcohol abuser( 18 pints a week usually weekends)which would lead to dependence if continued.

One sentence says you're dependent. The other says you're not. Can you clarify that?

I would like to think that I could drink moderately in the future. Could this be me in denial

Yes. And I don't know about anyone else, but I've never met an addict of any sort who thinks he's going to become addicted while using. Everybody thinks they'll be able to use in moderation.

Tnx Incorrigible 4 reply. I lost my login details -I'm now traolach2. When I say psychological dependence what I mean is that I saw booze as a reward on weekend nights. Didn't drink during the week or during the day. Just after 6pm weekends. Here Ireland binge drinking is huge. Social life revolves around it. This is the first time I've ever actually decided to give up drinking and I suffered no physical withdrawl symptoms after I stopped. I suppose I'm trying to convince myself I was a heavy drinker but not an alcoholic

My guess is that you are an alcoholic. The statement about wanting to drink moderatly in the future is the universal dream of every alcoholic. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I hope you can stop before you lose everything, like most of us alcoholics. AA can give you a life beyond your wildest dreams. However, there is a trough requirement: you have to want to stop.
Good Luck,
Jim S

Oh, you're from Ireland. I hear they have apple cider on tap. I've never heard of such a thing until I talked with my favorite friend from Ireland.

I know quite a few people who smoke cigarettes when they drink; but only when they drink. Unlike people such as myself, they don't become dependent on the nicotine and become full-blown smokers. Some people just seem to have addictive personalities; while others don't.

I remember reading a story in the newspaper years ago. It was a story dealing with alcoholism in Native Americans. It seems that alcohol is illegal on some (if not all) Indian Reservations. The reservation Chiefs forgot to ban hairspray when making their laws, because that's what the alcoholics started drinking.

I mention these two things because there's a clear difference between use and abuse. Alcohol/drug dependence is the compulsive use of a substance regardless of the consequences.

I wouldn't go as far as calling you an alcoholic, but you are abusing it. That's just my opinion of course. But it's causing problems within your marriage; and that's a fact. Regardless of what label anyone gives you, I think it's best to stay in the clinic and try to get a better handle on things.

Tnx guys for taking the time to comment. Food 4 thought there. Appreciate the wisdom. By the way we've everthing on tap here!