is there any way out?

my father has been a active drinker since many years.

now i see that his alcoholic abuse is increasing day by day...and is probably facing many other health related problems...i only wanted to ask you that is there any way out for me, my family, and him?cause he wont agree to treatment n all. and social support is not helping in any way.cause he feels that everybody is trying something nd other to harm him(he sees problem in every action of ours).am i going to lose him in the end of it??cause i don't feel that i can do anything nw(after having tried for so many years)

abhishekkai08 wrote:

cause he wont agree to treatment n all.

Hi abhishekkai08,

You are (as you know) in a very difficult position regarding your father. Unfortunately, if he does not want to do anything about his drinking, then there is not much you or anyone else can do about it.
It is a very sad and usually painful thing to watch someone you love destroy themself without being able to help them. All I can suggest is that you keep yourself as safe as possible whilst being there for him should he eventually need your help.

Stay strong and good luck.

moonleo

Your position is difficult. Unfortunately, there is little for you to say or do.
I am certain that it is hard on you emotionally. Just do the best you can.

thankyou for your replies... actually the position is not bad in day times, but in the nights it gets worse sometimes....

is there a way to make him realize that, it is he who is at a fault and not others??(cause i am not gonna give up so easily:)) and one thing more: what to stats say, is alcohol consumption usually destructive for people?

abhishekkai08 wrote:

(cause i am not gonna give up so easily:)

You are right not to give up on a loved one who is struggling with addictive behaviour. However, the old saying 'sometmes you need to be cruel to be kind' is very often the case when it comes to trying to help someone who is addicted to alcohol.

The dynamics of a family that has a member who is affected by addiction is quite complicated. You may be able to gain more insight by taking a look at http://www.uk-rehab.com/page98.php
which explains the roles of family members.

Hope this will be of some help to you.

moonleo

thanxie...

You can get the best advise, understanding , and support by going to Al-Anon meetings.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. AA works wonders, but no one recovers until they want to stop. Often people will not stop if someone is enabling them--theat is keeping them from experiencing the consequences of their drinking. Be sure you are not holding him up.

Good Luck,
Jim S

As the popular saying goes ”God helps those who help themselves”. Perhaps, your greatest challenge is to make your father realize that he faces a problem. Recovery isn’t possible for reluctant patients. And the sooner he realizes it, the better it is for all. Let some expert talk to him about this. Refer to: Drugabuse.com , and seek for some expert advice on this through their helpline. Good Luck!

Dear dds10,

It is emotionally draining to watch a loved one steadily harm themselves with alcohol. The best we can do in such a situation is take care of ourself. There may come a time when they act on their impulse within to change their life for the better. It is then we can be there for them, strong, intact and able to offer support in a healthy way, without becoming enmeshed in their troubles. Take good care of yourself dds10. Alanon is a great place to go for information and support. Keep living your own life. After all, your father is living his.

Kindly,
Tashina
http://www.psychologicalhealingandyoga.com

Hey,

Not sure if your checking these posts anymore as it has been a while but I just wanted you to know that I understand exactly how you feel. Unfortunatly for me - and the rest of my family, my dad didnt realise (or moreso he did but didn't want to do anything about it) and in the end it killed him aged only 51! I dont want to upset you - this may not be the case for your dad but I just wanted to be honest. I have had to watch my dad self distruct and it was very painful. As others have said, you need to live your life too. I did. I forced myself to. You cant do anything unless he asks for the help.

As said I totally understand everything you are saying so if you ever want to chat just message me anytime.

Kelly.