Recent college grad seeks advice about drinking pattern

Hey all,
This is my first post on this forum. I'll be 23 in November, I just graduated from college in May. As many of you know, drinking reaches pretty absurd levels in college. Being back home has made me rethink my drinking patterns. I think that the amount I drank at school was quite normal, but the way people drank at school in general was very unhealthy, if that makes sense. I'll give you a little background regarding my personal history with alcohol.

I didn't drink until senior year of high school/freshman year of college. I was drawn to drinking because I was shy and insecure in high school, and alcohol helped me to open up. I now realize that starting my relationship with alcohol in that way was not healthy. At the time, I didn't think much of it, though, because I just wanted to have fun. And I had a lot of fun. The main thing I noticed about drinking was that it made talking to girls a whole lot easier (something that had frustrated me to no end throughout all of high school).

Since that time, I have become much more social and comfortable with myself when sober. I don't need alcohol to talk to people I don't know. I still feed the need, though, to drink more to become more social. The main problem I have with alcohol is that I tend to black out if I let my drinking go unchecked on nights when I go out with friends. I tend to only drink when going out with friends--I have never gotten drunk alone. For the past month, I've been job at home, for example, and I haven't gotten drunk in that entire month. I hardly ever have gotten sick from drinking too much, nor have I ended up in the hospital, passed out, hurt myself or anyone else, or anything like that. I just end up blacking out, which I don't like. I'll add that a month ago, I accidentally knocked over a picture frame while drunk, that's the most intense thing that's ever happened.

So here are some questions:
1) I am considering seeing a counselor to talk about my drinking. Do you think it makes sense to?
2) From what I can gather, I think that I abuse alcohol, not that I am an alcoholic. Do you agree?
3) Do you think I should completely abstain from drinking, or that I should be able to get my drinking under control? If I see a counselor, do you think that they will recommend sobriety?

Thanks! Let me know if you want more info from me.

You seem to have a lot of insight for your age. You may not be an alocholic, but the fact that alcohol seems to make you feel so much better and do things that are difficult without it may be a strong signal that you could become addicted in time. Finding out more information from a counselor or some other place would be very helpful. One good source of information is an open AA meeting. You can go to just listen. You do not have to talk. Of course, there are many counselors that could advise you.

Like you, I did not really drink until the end of high school and the start of college. I controlled my drinking for years, making the dean's list and the wrestling team. Eventually, I lost nearly all and went to AA. AA helped me with my drinking and all my other problems besides. At any rate you could save yourself a lot of suffering if you stopped before you lose everything. You are probabaly in a place where you could stop on your own. After a while the only thing that works is AA, and sometimes even it does not work.

You do not seem to get in much trouble, but the fact that alcohol helps you socially has me worried.

Good Luck,
Jim S

Hi, my two cents:

I think that you should take a break from drinking. Stop doing it for a few months.
Figure out -- with a counselor or not - why you want to get drunk.
Work on those issues. Eliminate the root causes.
Get your life circumstances in order -- a good job, a good place to live, good hobbies [ recreation], etc.

When you have made progress, re evaluate.


Think of it this way -- perhaps you are expecting alcohol can do things for you. When you should do those things yourself for yourself.

You should probably atleast stop for a while if not indefinitely. Because you are drinking to become more social AND you are blacking out, there is a good chance you are an alcoholic and have just been lucky thus far.

I was fine too- never getting sick, never passing out, nothing. Than I had a black out from drinking and got into a car accident. I was really lucky, but you may not be.

Either stop drinking or figure out exactly when you need to stop drinking in order to not block out- you don't want to get yourself in the same situation i got my self in..

And I do think counseling would be a good job for you.

Hello,

Bravo for being so open about your drinking and for seeking further insight into it. In answer to your questions, here's my two cents:

1) I am considering seeing a counselor to talk about my drinking. Do you think it makes sense to?

I do. A good counsellor will help you become even clearer about the role alcohol has played in your life, what you really want to do about it, and help you understand what alcoholism is and what alcohol abuse is.

2) From what I can gather, I think that I abuse alcohol, not that I am an alcoholic. Do you agree?

The blackout issue makes me nervous, as it's a sign of alcoholism, as are any 3 of the following: building up a tolerance, having withdrawal symptoms within a 24 hour period after stopping the use, drinking taking the place of regular life activities (work, school, relationships etc), drinking in spite of negative consequences, drinking more than what you intended over a longer period than intended, over and over trying to control or reduce what you use, or investing alot of time in drinking, recovering from drinking, or getting the alcohol to drink.

3) Do you think I should completely abstain from drinking, or that I should be able to get my drinking under control? If I see a counselor, do you think they will recommend sobriety?

This is where seeing a counsellor would be helpful. To determine what the best course of action would be for you. There are happy sober people out there living fulfilling lives. It can be done.

Hope this helps.

Take good care,

Tashina
http://www.psychologicalhealingandyoga.com

In a course I took, I was told that having just one blackout is a sign of alcoholism. They did not say one a month or one a week--they said one period. Alcoholics will grab at anything for evidence that they are not alcoholics. Average drinkers do not even think about these things. If they drink too much and get in trouble once, they just never drink that much again.

If you think you are not an alcoholic, then just don't drink for a month or a year and see how your feel. Most alcoholics would not be able to go more than a few months without a drink. But, a few can. If you try this, you might find that you will be looking for an excuse to drink. Another good test is to just drink one drink each day--no more no less. Don't go without drinking for a week, then drink all 7 at once--one each and every day. A normal drinker will have no problem with either of these tests.

A good cheap solution is to go to an open AA meeting and just listen. If someone calls on you, just say you are a visitor and want to pass. By listening to real alcoholics, you will get a sense as to where you fit. You may very well find that you are OK, and do not have to worry. If you do not want to try any of these ideas, then maybe you are further along than you think. What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?
Good Luck,
Jim S