Should I quit drinking?

I drink a six-pack (0.5 l) three times a week. In addition probably about 8 vodka-mixed drinks most weekends. I have a high tolerance now, so i dont get very drunk. The alcohol doesnt cause me to get into "drunken situations" anymore. But I think about alcohol every day, many times a day.

Many people around me have told me I have a drinking problem. I believe myself that I have a problem, because I can't stop after just one or two drinks. I will drink till it's empty (beers) or till it gets late (vodka). Nevermind the fact that I think about alcohol so often.

But I don't know what to do, because I love beer so much. And like I said I don't get very drunk. I often drink alone. But I'm scared things are getting out of control. Both my parents are alcoholics and are sick because of it. I don't want to end up in the same situation. But I can't seem to cut down. Drinking two beers a drinking night is no option. What do I do? I don't have kids, so no one is really affected.

Good question and probably only one that you can answer. Drinking became a problem for me, but it took awhile for me to seek help for it (I am a slow learner ).
Drinking only becomes a problem when you say it is a problem. My 1st DWI was purely because I was being careless. My 2nd DWI woke me up and I decided that I might have a problem with alcohol.
There was the progression of alcoholism as you mentioned. I didn't have to drink every day. I wasn't a bum or a wino and always had money. I did drink alone. I hid my drinking from others. I turned more towards hard liquor for a faster effect and more 'bang for the buck'.
There was the 'wreckage' from embarrassing moments, some I didn't even remember. Lost friendships, poor work attendance, I stopped being invited to parties and was beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Alcohol used to calm the anxiety, but was turning against me and was creating anxiety now. I was depressed, but didn't realize it.
I thought that I was doing OK, but didn't realize that I would reek of liquor, slur my speech and my eyes were shining like headlights. One guy at work once said they looked like 2 little pissholes in the snow.
The physical things began to happen, like an enlarged liver and pancreatitis attacks that would double me over and wrap me into a ball. The doctor said that my blood was 'dirty'.
I would take a day off from work for a drinking day and I always had my 'supply'.
I did get an 'evaluation' to please the court for my DWI. If I continued to drink, I would have gone to jail or the nuthouse.
I had tried every way I could to cut down on drinking or to stop drinking on my own, but failed miserably at it. You can't think your way out of alcoholism and will power doesn't work.
It took the other people in the rooms of AA. Friends that I hadn't met yet, to help me recover, stick with it and get sober.
Relapse is not a requirement, but I was on rocky footing when I first got into recovery. I tested myself on alcohol after a year and a half of not drinking. I got as sick as I had ever been within 3 days and called for help. I guess that I had to prove to myself that I could make it through all the holidays sober and that I could no longer safely drink.
I went into detox, rehab inpatient, then outpatient, then aftercare. AA was my after-aftercare. This is a lifetime of self-work, one day at a time.
AA is where they say that you are a 'member' only when you say that you are. I heard stories in AA that were better and worse than mine. They said to 'relate' and not 'compare' stories.
The people in AA seemed happy and successful. They had something that I didn't, but wanted in a bad way.
They said to keep coming back. There were the 12 steps, the corny slogans and readings, but they sank in after awhile and began to make sense.
One guy in an AA meeting brought up a topic to say that he would never have lowered himself to drink at a bar with any of us (much less buy any of us a drink), yet here we all were at an AA meeting together trying to get better together. It struck me as funny, but he was exactly right. Alcoholism knows no class, race or gender. It is an equal-opportunity disease.
I hope that you find your own way.
Best of luck to you.

Thank you for your reply Wally. I do question my own drinking, and that could indicate a problem. There has been a progression of drinking and I have had "drinking nights" before work days (but hope I didn't reek of alcohol and I showed up). I almost always drink the night before weekly therapy sessions, although every week I say I won't do it that week. Besides that I drink when I don't have anything important the next day. I do downplay my drinking when questioned.

I hear what you are saying about AA, and there is an AA group where I live. But taking that step is HUGE. I don't know if my problem is so bad that I have to take that step. Like you, I don't live on the street, I pay my bills and alochol doesn't come in the way for that. I am able to not drink most days where something is coming up the next day. I do think about it though.

I do not (so far) have medical problems due to my drinking. But it is probably just a matter of time (34 now). I have been in many situations due to my drinking, but not in the last two years since my tolerance went up. I just don't get that drunk anymore and if I do I just head straight into bed. I can drink alot now without getting drunk.

I just love it so much. Listening to music and having a beer. For hours and many beers. And add some liquor to it and I'm in a bliss. Then the occassional night out. I don't cause a problem to anyone and I'm not in the streets raving around any longer.

I live in a small village and if I went to the AA-group here there would possibly be someone I know from before. I'm scared of that. But there are cities close by that I could go to, so that's just an excuse. Just don't know if my situation is so dire that I have to take that step.

Wish I could stop thinking about alcohol in situations I can't have any. Cause I do think about it, a lot. I hope I find my own way like you say. Thank you.

I was questioning my own drinking for the longest time. I wasn't ready to quit yet and that was OK. As some say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

You can't make someone stop drinking if they are not ready. They are only ready when they say they are.
Some are never ready as the bottle can be a very powerful master.

The thoughts of my next drink became a 'preoccupation' sometimes. I would plan ahead for it and would look forward when my workday was over. There were times I woke up in the morning thinking of when I could drink again.

'Loss of control' was another warning sign for me. I could never tell how the night would end. Sometimes I would plan on not drinking at all or maybe just having one...or two. I had no control over how much I would end up drinking or when I would get home. It just tasted so good and I felt that I didn't need that much sleep. I was energized.
I never got into cocaine much, but it helped me drink much longer, many times into the next day.

Alcoholics Anonymous is supposed to be Anonymous. It wouldn't work otherwise. Being in AA must mean that you have a problem and that is something to be ashamed of. Nonsense! Alcoholism is a damn disease.
Some meetings end with the saying "What you hear here, let it stay here. Take only what you need to help yourself recover from the disease of alcoholism" followed by the Lord's Prayer. You don't have to be religious. You don't even have to believe in God.

While in AA, I met my senator. I met high school classmates and neighbors. It was good to see them there and shake their hand over a cup of coffee.
Sometimes with an eyeroll and knowing smile, we would say something like "I wondered when you would get here" or "What took you so long".
Some of us used to party together and knew that we were both heavy drinkers.
It wasn't problem drinking at the time, but that is the progression of the disease. It became a problem. Some of us lost everything, but we were alive and sober and made it to the rooms.

I'm just putting this out there for you to consider and to share a little about where I came from. Speak privately with your physician or a therapist if you like.
Sometimes in an AA meeting, I will hear exactly what I needed to hear. It gives me a perspective about myself that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Like on the outside looking in. It was being at the right place at the right time.

The 1st step is 'admitting' we have a problem.
It goes on from there.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you for sharing your experience Wally. Maybe I'm in the category of people not ready to quit.

I do also have days where I wake up and my first thought is when I can drink. I just wish I could cut down, maybe to only drink on the weekends or something. I have many times had just one or two beers before events that are alcohol-free too, and just hoped that nobody noticed. So far I think nobody have. At least nobody have commented on it. Except people like my therapist who have commented on it, but then it has been from the night before.

But it is getting harder, I want to drink more and more often. I hear what you are saying about it being a disease, but I do feel ashamed. Not to mentioned the times I wake up to find I have sent messages or emails or called people after drinking. Ashamed. But I have managed somehow to control that a little bit, it's not happening as often as before, and when it does happen I don't think people know I have been drinking.

But I do crave the alcohol more than I used to. So I wish I had the courage to go to one of the meetings at AA, because I am afraid of losing my job if I come smelling of alcohol. And I'm afraid of not getting up to go to work. The alcohol is getting a hold on my life.

The alcohol is also a preoccupation of mine, because I think of it so often. That is how I know that it is getting out of control. If there are two days I know I can't drink, I think about it so often and it feels difficult not to drink. But I keep thinking that I can control it.

I do see a therapist regularily, and I have decided to be open about this. Every time it's been a subject I have denied and denied that it's a problem even though they know that I drink, maybe not how much. But at the next appointment I will bring it up.

I just don't feel ready to cut it out. So it's difficult.

Thank you Wally.

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing or what you have decided.

Hi Wally,

Just wanted to give a quick update. I have decided to do something about my drinking before it progresses further. Ever since I posted here I have thought long and hard. I will talk to health personell about this problem of mine (being honest to them this time) and i am considering joining an AA meeting because I don't know how to quit on my own. It sure can't hurt. Thank you for your help.

Wally58 wrote:Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing or what you have decided.

I don't know if you are still active on this forum, just wanted to let you know that I am now sober. Have been for a couple of years. Thanks for your help. It was definitely the right decision to quit alcohol completely.

I found that my greatest help was from the people who had gone through their own personal hell with this disease.
Thanks for coming back to share your victory with us!
It is one day at a time.