My half-brother K is 30 years old, and lives with my mom and step dad. Unfortunately I live about 6 hours from them, and I do not get to see my mom as often as I would like, sometimes only once every couple years. Time and finances are tight and I wish I could see her more.
The last time I went to visit mom seemed like she didn't want me to come, but I had already made the arrangements when she had second thoughts.
When I arrived I found out that my brother had been having problems with alcohol addiction, and had been swinging from rehab to hard drinking in a constant cycle. My mom was so stressed out, she was having problems thinking straight and seemed to be suffering from possible paranoia, obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, as well as some memory, and judgment issues. I am kind of worried as some of her issues seemed to suggest some dementia as well. She has always been high strung, so I am attributing much of this to financial and emotional stress caused by my brother.
My brother, 30 years old, no job, living at home with mom and my step dad (his dad).' K' drinks, uses drugs, is constantly trying to get doctors to give him pain pills or anxiety medication. he makes my mom go buy him booze, makes her take him to the hospital to try and score drugs, because if she doesn't he is going to lose it and kill someone. He has tantrums on the livingroom floor, and my mom has to call the ambulance because of his high state of anxiety. sometimes when I call he is yelling and swearing and freaking out in the background. My mom is not allowed to talk about him, sometimes when I call he stands behind her the whole time to make sure she doesn't say anything about him! My mom just retired this year, and I can't help but feel what he is doing is elder abuse!
I was looking forward to being able to see my mom more now that she is retired and we no longer have to sync days off to visit. But in the current situation she does not want anyone to visit, mainly I think because my brother doesn't want anyone coming there. In the past there were holidays where my mom would not allow anyone to come because my brother didn't want them there.
My step dad wants to call the police and have K removed, but my mom won't allow it.
I have tried to educate my mom that her actions of enabling my brother are not helping.
I am at a loss. My mom's mental health is taking a nose dive, and the family is falling apart, and there is nothing I can do. I rack my brain and I just can't see any way of helping this situation
