first post, new here, need advice. sorry if this is long.

so i spoke to soon in the last post. the sleep is now non excistant. i shake a lot at work. i cant remember what im saposed to remember(mainly work things). today was especially terrible. long story short im seriously considering leaving my job. the stress has gotten to be way to much for me and by tomarrow morning i might have something lined up.

and the other funny thing about my last post was how i said i wasnt telling anyone. well thats out too. i worked for yrs on a small resort island. i went back early this wk for a few nights to visit and relax. and everyone knew. they were all very supportive also which was a sigh of releif. and by an odd twist of whatever. one of the waitstaffs father was/is in AA for a long time so he called me ,we spoke for a bit and im going to a meeting next wk with him.

“and by an odd twist of whatever. one of the waitstaffs father was/is in AA for a long time so he called me ,we spoke for a bit and im going to a meeting next wk with him.”

Coincidence? Maybe. I was told that that kind of coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous. I don’t know if that is true or not, but I like the sound of it.

Come back and tell us how the meeting went. As you are sitting in that room, try to identify rather than compare. None of us have the same exact story. But when someone is talking about the loneliness, the fear, the anger and depression of drinking with that sense of desperation, outlaw binge drinking bikers to housewives who drank secretly, they all nod their heads in understanding. We are more alike in this regard than we are different.

Timmah, good things happen to guys like us if we don’t drink. And even after years of sobriety, I still do it one day at a time. No matter how crappy things are right now, they will get better if you don’t drink. I guarantee it!

One day at a time my friend, one day at a time…
Richard

so this morning i went to my first AA meeting.. i must say a lot of wisdom is to be tought, shared and learned. so i think im going to keep on going. maybe it will only be a few meetings every wk but ill be going.

today it was a disscussion meeting. the guy that brought me told me it would be a good idea to listen and get a feel for how the meeting work, all that jazz. so maybe this is the missing ingredient to my recipe. thought it was alcohol or the occasional drug. but i was way off.

on another note i had a physical friday morning. the blood/urine sample papers finaly came in. im in great health im told, liver function is in the normal range white blood cells, normal range etc etc. only discrepancy was my sugar count. its in the tripple digits which the doc tells me is WAY to high and i continue to drink the way i was i will probably end up a diabetic. after that i informed him of my troubles sleeping and also with anxiety/pannic attacks wich occur daily. he prescribed me lorazepam. which knocks me on my butt. especially after a long days work. and the best part is i cant drink while im on this. well i could but i was told there is a great possibility i would end up in the hospital as a result. so no drinking for me while im on this.

thanks to everyone for support. its been a strange 3 weeks. along with this forum and freinds it has made life a little easier.

t

Way to go, Tim!

Just wanted to stop by and say that I am so glad you made it to your first meeting...and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it! Good job, Tim.

-Tar

I’m with Tayrn… Way to go big guy!

Do today what you did yesterday, and you might get another day without a drink. At least that’s the way it has worked for me.

Oh, yea, another thing they told me was to make a list of things I am grateful for. Things like I woke up this morning, I have two eyes that can see, two legs that work, and a mind that comprehends these gifts. Adopting an attitude of gratitude helped me a great deal in the beginning, still does.

Again, Congrats. And if the guys at the meeting didn’t say it, I will, Keep coming back!

Richard

Congratulations on your time without drinking. I do it one day at a time through AA. So far it has worked for many years. I tried many things to control my drinking, but the only thing that worked was AA.

Good Luck,

Jim S

so after 14 days the doctor put me on meds like i said in my last post. well its been a little over a week on this new med. im not sure what to make of it. ive been assured by a freind everything is normal. despite him never having taken it. anyway the entire wk went by and i didnt even know it. in fact i didnt realy remember much of the wk at all. i had to ask all my freinds when we spoke last and what we talked about so i wouldnt repeat myself. other than that the lorazapam keeps me calm for the better part of the day and helps me sleep pretty well. i have trouble getting out of bed so i cant make it to AA I guess in due time.

iv also been feeling realy depressed. something small will happen and its as if it ruins my entire day. or at night time before the meds kick in(takes abou 1-2 hrs) im realy down.

and the non stop thought of a drink is in my head every second i am awake no matter what i am doing.

im slowly going crazy as the days pass.

Tim…
When I first got sober, and getting sober is a bitch, no doubt, I heard something I will share with you. “If you sober up a horse thief, all you have is a sober horse thief.” Now I ain’t calling you a horse thief, but if you just stop drinking and do nothing else, you may be nothing more than a drunk on a dry spell. And that really sucks! Just stopping drinking and doing nothing else is a mistake.

My alcoholism is out in the parking lot doing pushups just waiting for a weak moment. And at that weak moment, it makes it’s move.

Keep taking the medications, but Tim, I can’t emphasize too much the importance of Alcoholics Anonymous. You are trying to go it alone, and booze wins when we do that.

I ain’t going to get into the details of the program here, but let me give you the Cliff Notes version… We suffer from a spiritual disease. You think alcohol is the problem, but it isn’t. it is only a symptom of a much more serious underlying disease. And working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor , there is a very good chance that making contact with this power greater than ourselves we talk so fondly of will fix this spiritual disease.

Tim, make time every day for a meeting. This is your life we are talking about here. 90 meetings in 90 days is the old recipe for success. You are a chef right? If you screw around with the recipe an just leave pieces out, how does the dish turn out?

Do it the smart way my friend, make the meetings, get a sponsor and do the steps like your life depends on them, because it does.

Richard

i thought i would update, its been a while. im now 53 days clean. off the meds. and learning how to live life on the sober side. its been interesting entering reality again, its been a while.

timmah wrote:i thought i would update, its been a while. im now 53 days clean. off the meds. and learning how to live life on the sober side. its been interesting entering reality again, its been a while.

Good for you! It's not as bad as it sounds, huh.