need some advice

My brother-in-law was recently diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver. This really didn't come as a surprise to me because he can consume minimally a 12 pack of beer a day. While visiting him in the hospital room and being there when the doctor told him his prognosis and emphasized that he couldn't drink anymore alcohol if he wanted to raise his survival rate, inpatient treatment was suggested. Right now it seems to be that he is making light of his condition or having a hard time accepting what has been placed in front of him. All of his symptons of Cirrhosis indicate late stage diagnosis . My question is I know what needs to be done, our family knows what needs to be done, but how do we go about encouraging him to get help without alienating ourselves or making his disease our disease. We only want him to get better but it has to be something he wants for it to work correct? Please help me understand my boundries and ways to handle this.
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Ksauers, I am sorry your brother is ill. Cirrhosis is, as you know a chronic disease. And drinking on a compromised liver spells only trouble. But you already know these things.

To your core question, how do I get my brother to take his diagnosis seriously? How do we, his family, make him want it?

You don’t.

Like you said, he needs to want it more than he wants to drink. I understand your brother very well. I am an alcoholic, and I did not want to stop drinking. Drinking fixed things for me. Drinking was the only thing I gave a damn about. And the idea of never having that ease and comfort of a few drinks again scared the hell out of me. The idea scares him as well. He won’t say it that way, but it’s true.

Pain got my attention. Deep and abiding mental and spiritual pain did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. It beat me into a position of reasonableness. I was willing to do anything to make it stop.

Most alcoholics are a lot tougher than I am. They drink themselves right into a grave. Some, like me, pull up, but most don’t.

Your family can Baker Act or Marchman Act him into a recovery program, that might work. I have seen it do the trick. They stick around long enough for their head to clear, and in turn, they take an honest accounting of their lives. They are exposed to AA in places like that, and the penny drops.

But Ksauers, don’t count on it. Take care of your family first.

One thing you can do is, don’t cover for him, don’t bail him out of jail, don’t make his drinking easier on him, don’t let him in your home drunk, don’t keep him from hitting his bottom. Let him suffer. The brand of suffering we impose on ourselves seems to be the only thing that cuts through the fog of active alcoholism.

Richard

Richard
thank you so much for your input. Although my life certainly wouldn't be considered "textbook" I always have this urge to fix things. It helps definately to get your point of view because you have been there....you are there. I will approach this cautiously and wisely. He just got out of the hospital yesterday and I guess I am expecting him to take action instantly and I find myself getting frustrated because he isn't. It makes real sense this fear he must be facing that you spoke of and I can be empathetic but I guess the fear of living without alcohol is greater than the fear of dying because of it.
Thank you
Kim