Can someone give me some advice?

Hi guys,

Just thought I'd post this in here as I need to talk to someone, I feel like I'm going crazy.
I drink quite heavily. And frequently. I often go through binge periods when I drink very heavily every day. Although I'm usually able to stop with little to no negative effects.
I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic. My use is probably quite light. However, for the past approximately 5 weeks (not quite sure exactly how long it is) I have been drinking between 1-3 bottles of wine a day, every day. Usually about 2.But sometimes a lot more, with additional vodka, cocktails, beer, whiskey, anything. (Before this I was doing the same but on average about 3-4 nights a week)
About a week ago, I finally managed to follow through on my promise to myself that I would not drink again. It was horrible. I lasted a few days I think. Honestly I don't know. Dates and times are confusing to me right now.
But since then, I have stopped drinking every day, however I've drunk very heavily about 3 times.
On the days I haven't been drinking (and the days that I have) I've been doing small amounts of cocaine.. and sometimes weed, every day since last Sunday. I know I shouldn't. I'm also going to stop that...
My question was going to be about how I feel how I feel right now and is it related to all the alcohol, and are my symptoms possibly withdrawal... now that I've written it all out I think they probably are...
I just feel completely weird. I feel confused, anxious, paranoid. Zombie like. I feel as though my face is constantly fixed in a dead expression and I can't really change it.
I feel shaky. I don't feel especially unwell physically. Don't have flu like symptoms or anything like that. Although they have been coming and going. But I have this weird pressure feeling in the top of my head. I wondered if it might be the cocaine. But the last time I did any was Saturday and I've been doing such small lines that I really don't think it would be that. Also drunk extremely heavily on Saturday night, but didn't do anything at all yesterday in an attempt to rid everything from myself, hoping that I would feel back to normal today, but I don't. I'm about to pour myself my first glass of wine of the day right now. Just to see if it makes me feel more alive. I just want to identify the cause. Haven't really been eating properly all this time either.

Could the way that I'm feeling be related to alcohol withdrawal? On the days that I haven't been drinking I have done either weed or cocaine every time, but as I said, only very light cocaine.
Should I try to lower my alcohol use gradually or just stop altogether?
I'm just looking for some reassurance really that I'm going to be ok. And that this is normal.
My mind doesn't feel right. I feel like my brain isn't really all there. It's starting to worry me a bit. But I really don't want to go to the docs in case they try to send me to some alcohol rehab or something.
Thanks in advance.

Hi,

an alcohol rehab might be the best way to go to be honest. But it's not up to me to decide.

Alcoholism, addiction and cross-addiction (moving from one drug to another, alcohol being a drug as well) don't have clearly laid down limits like "if you drink three glasses of wine five times a week but not on Tuesday then you are an alcoholic". It's more about how hard it is for you to take a break (a month rather than two days); how drinking and using affects your life, work, family, etc.; do people start asking you why you smell like that, noticing you're not yourself at work; are you getting blackouts after which people tell you what you have done; etc. A test I have seen on a TV show might seem silly but I actually think it's quite good: pour yourself a glass of wine and ignore it for the rest of the evening. Not: stare at it, move your hand towards it then back, leave the room but think about it all the time. Ignore it. Be busy with other things so that this glass of wine doesn't exist for you at all. IF you can do this, you probably don't have a problem. I couldn't.

I do not know if how you are feeling is related to alcohol, cocaine, weed. I have used all of those and mixed all of those many, many times. I can't really remember how I felt in that period. It all sort of mulls down into one hazy mess.

May I ask if there's been anything that has triggered such heavier use for you in the past weeks? Are you on any medication? Do you think that if "dates and times are confusing to me right now" and you "feel completely weird, confused, anxious, paranoid, zombie like, face fixed in a dead expression, shaky", you don't need help? That everything is alright?

What would you say to a friend who'd come to you and confess exactly what you just posted here?

Big hugs.