Stopping drinking

I have decided it's time to stop drinking. I don't know that I want to because alcohol has been a friend to me since I 14. I have been drunk almost every night for almost a decade. I recently failed my university exams (I'm a mature student) having passed all the assignments because of it. I am in debt because of it. I don't eat properly because of it. And I even found myself smoking cannabis last night. I always knew I was venerable to drug addiction also, so I have mostly stayed away from that, but if I keep drinking that is the next step.

So tonight I must commit to being sobre. I am not really sure what I will do with myself.

Good luck cumulusjames. I hope you stay strong.

What worked for me was NA. A friend of mine was hammering on about it and I kept telling him to sod off, until I was told by my doctors that my bipolar meds wouldn't work unless I stopped drinking and using. I had no problems stopping drugs -- in fact did so before I was told to -- but I found stopping alcohol extremely difficult. I finally relented and went to NA meetings. It took me another three weeks to stop, but once I did stop, I managed 14 months (a miracle) clean until I got manic. Mania threw me into a brief relapse which didn't last because by then, thanks to NA, I simply knew too much. I'm 7 months clean and sober now and doing well with no cravings.

Big hugs!

I wonder what it might feel like to be sober for 7 months? Do you feel better in your body? Because I've got no energy and I'm permanently hung over. I can't get through a chapter of a book without feeling desperately tired.

It honestly makes a massive difference. First of all, yes, I forgot what a hangover feels like. I have more energy. I am losing weight (this also has to do with medication change). And my meds finally work like they are supposed to. My bank account is less miserable. I am more social, which might seem strange -- but I used to be a lone drinker. Now I am more social because I am not busy being drunk. I don't wake up with "F...!!!" as my first word (I always remembered what I did last night, when it seemed a good idea).

At the beginning I had to avoid all places that I associated with alcohol, like my favourite bar. With time, when cravings disappeared, I rediscovered the idea of going out and drinking tea or cola light WITHOUT whisky. I no longer have "fun" that comes from being intoxicated, but the fact I no longer have to send mortified apologies left right and centre more than makes up for it.

Can you tell I'm happy to be sober

And my meds finally work like they are supposed to. My bank account is less miserable.

Brilliant. This is what I'm hoping for.

I was also a lone drinker. Wonder if I'll come out of my shell a bit more.

I had a lot of success with AA meetings and finally found medications which helped me. You may want to consider DDA or DRA meetings also. They are for substance abusers with mental illnesses. In regards to the sex addiction there are 3 12th step meetings for that issue: SAA, sex addicts anonymous, SA, sex addicts, and SLAA, sex and love addicts anonymous. Therapy and medication could help too. I had to keep changing medications to find a combination that worked well but getting sober lessened my depression right away. I've had nothing but okay or good days for months now and I had multiple suicide attempts a few years ago. Whatever route you go my suggestion is GET HELP!! You can't do it on your own.
Best of luck.

I didn't drink last night and I hated it.

What can fill this void if not sex and alcohol?

How's it going cumulus? Did you find a way to fill the void? I don't have a good suggestion for this myself as I've been struggling with the same thing. Mostly I've just been going to sleep really early out of sheer boredom. I also do guided meditations that help calm my mind and take my thoughts away from alcohol.

A lot of people with addiction issues get relief from intense exercise programs like Crossfit or a boxing gym. These options have the added benefit of social interaction and friendly competition that you don't get from going solo at a regular gym.

No. I am still drinking and will do until it finishes me off in a couple of years. I've got no other way to live now.

I know how you feel, but there is another way to live. I miss it too, but the alternative isn't just a premature death, it's a miserable and out of control life.

Is there any way you can access the desire to quit that you had in your first post? Have you tried any meetings or other support resources? LifeRing.org has forums and chat rooms if you don't want to go to an in person meeting or would prefer a more secular approach.

Please continue to check in, drinking or not. We are here to support you.