Stopping drinking

Try discussing a different dosage perhaps -- it comes from 12.5 to 800 mg, extended or immediate release. And I confirm it reduces cravings for alcohol even at lowest dose. When I just quit drinking, I was prescribed 25mg seroquel as sleeping aid, it worked like a charm and it also suddenly made me stop wanting a drink. When I was taken off it a while later (tremors were too much) the craving didn't return anymore.

I have nothing to do if I don't drink

I would definitely seek help. Depending on where you live there may be DRA or DDA meetings for people with mental illness and drug addiction. AA or NA work well too. It used to be some people in AA looked down on taking medications but that has totally changed. Members who are not on meds get pissed off now if they hear any anti-med statements.
For someone who drank like you did stopping cold turkey can be dangerous. I would suggest a detox unit or at least a doctors opinion.
Best of luck.

Are you a lone drinker? From what I've heard from others in recovery, quitting actually expands their social life and activity levels. It doesn't happen overnight and the boredom and restlessness are very real, but it gets better with each day. Going to meetings is something to do during the times you would be drinking. This is how many addicts get through the transition.

I agree with Bill that you should talk to a doctor. Many are afraid of this because they will have substance abuse on their records and also your doctor will likely keep asking you about it. This can actually be a blessing, as annoying as it is.

My experience with Seroquel was that it reduced the craving AND made alcohol taste weird. During the time I was on it, I remember trying to finish a glass of wine on my birthday and it was a struggle. I went off of it because my blood sugar went up, but maybe I'll give it another go and compensate with dietary changes and exercise. I'm currently taking Ambien for sleep and Seroquel would be a much better option for a variety of reasons. I think Ambien makes my depression worse.

Well I have to be dry for the next week, I drunk myself out of money. This is the rock bottom junkies usually get?

I haven't got it in me to turn to crime.

Rock bottom is different for everyone. I know someone who got reanimated three times, then went back to using. I know someone who prayed for fatal overdose, took all his drugs, survived, went to NA the day after and never relapsed. I know someone who was taking bipolar medication with whisky, knowing damn well he's ruining his liver (that would be myself). I know people who landed on the street, lost their marriages, turned to prostitution to support their habits. Your rock bottom is where you decide it is.

I can't turn to prostitution anymore. Which is a pity since I am a sex addict and poor.

Good luck! Have you tried a new hobby? I know you said you are bored when you don't drink. Even going for a walk can help. If you walk 30 minutes away from your home, it will take 30 minutes to get back. Or instead of paying $10 on beer, buy a basketball and go shoot hoops. Don't forget to "reward" yourself for not drinking. It can be something as simple as getting an ice cream cone or buying a magazine.

I hate myself and I don't care about anything.

Men did things to me when I was a boy and it seems to have irreversibly damaged me.

But things are worse because now I am a similar aged man I had some thoughts about boys.

So I have nothing to live for.

From abuse to abuser I guess. I know very well I should kill myself. But alcohol allows me to exist for another day.