How difficult is it to stay sober

Why would someone who admits they are an alcoholic, who achieved sobriety for 10 years after almost dying, continue to regularly drink after their first relapse 4 years ago? This is on and off. He has apparently had periods where he has stayed sober for 6 months, but in the 18 months I've known him he hasn't been able to get beyond 6 weeks without becoming increasingly difficult to be around, downright rude and will ultimately go to great lengths to pick arguments, over reacting to the slightest thing and walking out then calling several hours later to accuse me of sounding drunk when I haven't touched a drop (I'm not alcoholic). Shortly after, if he hasn't already done so without my knowledge, he will relapse and binge until he is unconscious. The amount he drinks in one sitting I'm surprised he is alive tbh. The following day he tells me he has serious DTs to the extent he struggles to hold things his hands shake so much, anxiety and paranoia he's going to have a seizure. Then he says enough is enough, goes back to AA and about a month later it all starts again, the irritability, losing interest in going to meetings, intolerable to be around. If he readily admits he's an alcoholic, goes to AA, has a sponsor and does the steps, why does he repeatedly relapse - is he saying what he knows people want to hear, that he's going to regain his sobriety, but really doesn't want to or is he genuinely unable to get and stay sober? Bearing in mind that I've seen him on many occasion be around people drinking and not take a drink. I've seen him be handed an alcoholic drink and he gave it away (this was before I knew he was an alcoholic).

sobriety is what i'm aiming for, and i hate it when i think i can even bulge this alcohol cravings inside mu body. it sucks

Alcoholism is an illness. You could as well ask "how difficult is it to just not be diabetic". Some people are handed the addiction gene, others aren't. At NA some people explain it as an allergy -- our bodies are allergic to alcohol/drugs and once we start, the reaction begins -- second, third, fourth... glass, can, pick your own torture tool.

The person you write about has to get so low that the idea of having another drink is more torturous than the idea of not having it. Then they can really get help and stay sober. Sad but true.

It depends on the person. I was sober for 15 years and relapsed for about 3 years. There's no way of knowing if he can get sober again or not. You may want to try Al-Anon meetings, A lot of spouses of alcoholics find them helpful.

To some, alcohol is a medication that works better than anything else currently on the market.

How difficult is staying sober?

Pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm bipolar, and alcohol, by far, makes me feel better than any other drug on the market can. It makes me feel like I don;t care about all of the things I obsess over while I'm sober.

I'm just about ruined my life, and every time I say I want to get sober and actively seek it, I really do mean it. I can't speak for all alcoholics, but I have to think that many of them feel the same way I do. When we say we want to get sober we really really mean it. Or, maybe what we mean is that we want to be able to drink in a way that doesn't dominate our lives.

I'm 22, been an alcoholic for just a year, and it's just about taken everything from me. I came in contact with law enforcement 4 times this year, nearly lost my job, my marriage, my family. And still, getting and staying sober is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

The idea of never being able to have a drink with friends, and always carrying this label around with me. It's awful. I'll never be a normal early 20's person. I won't be able to have the same experiences.

It's hard to stay sober, but it's harder to stay drunk.