Sobriety Day 1

Hi. My name's Wayne and I'm an Alcoholic. Addmitting having an 'uncontrollable-addiction' and recovering from it are two different things.

For the last eight-years, at least, I consumed Alcohol all-day, everyday from dawn til dusk. - But it's not the amount, quality or type of Alcohol that makes the difference - It's the addiction and the effects it had on me and others around me.

For a long-time, I've had the desire to stop drinking but simply didn't have the ability to stop - and stay sober, certainly not for very long.

Drinking wasn't the problem! Refraining from drinking was the problem. This is my first posting to the Forum / Group. Yesterday, the 1st August was my first day Dry and Sober and I call it my Day of Sobriety. Hopefully, I can celebrate it next year - without a drink.

For me, my first day of Sobriety is going to be a day to remember.

Best Regards,
Wayne

Does that mean you are back to drinking today?

Edit: Oh, sorry, I see from your other post that you committing to stop.

If I may ask, was drinking fun? If so, when was it the most fun?

Allow me to issue a disclaimer here (to all readers). I am not trying to play devil's advocate with these questions. I don't wish to make it harder for anyone to quit drinking. I simply think that if one tries not to think about one's drinking past, I don't think it can be achieved.

I think the only way to halt an addiction is to recognise it for what it is. The hallmark of an addiction is that it isn't actually fun, there is no fun in it. I believe that if one seriously looks at the activity that one was doing, one will see there is no fun in it. For instance, if drinking isn't equally fun all the time, then the fun is not wholly in the drink. If there are occasions when drinking was no fun at all, my contention is no fun in drinking.

So in following this path, it is my intention to help.

verty wrote:Does that mean you are back to drinking today?

Edit: Oh, sorry, I see from your other post that you committing to stop.

If I may ask, was drinking fun? If so, when was it the most fun?

Hi verty,
Thanks for the response. No, I'm not drinking today and hope I can say the same tomorrow...

Was drinking fun? It seems a strange question but the truthful answer is 'No.' and my drinking was never 'Fun' but there were times when I 'Enjoyed' a drink but it never stopped at one or two and it just got gradually more habitual, less enjoyable and far more destructive.

I'm Sober Today and hopefully I'll stay that way.

Best Regards,
Wayne

Well it sounds like you've got a handle on it. You recognise that even if it seems enjoyable at times, it really isn't fun and inevitable leads to places you don't want to be. Stopping is a positive step and doing positive things is good, so I think what you are doing is good. Keep doing good things...

Pitbull, Welcome.

“My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.” I repeat those words at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I have been showing up at since 1998. I like you needed to stop drinking. I drank every day just like you. I drank even when I had told myself that I wasn’t going to drink. And when I started, I found it very difficult to stop drinking, or control how much I drank.

Unlike verty, I understand that it hasn’t anything to do with how much fun it is at all, sometimes it was fun, and sometimes it wasn’t. It didn’t matter. Again like you, drinking was my only solution to waking up sober. I couldn’t stand how I felt when I didn’t have a few in me. Drinking wasn’t the problem, it was the only freedom I knew. Drinking until I couldn’t feel anything at all. It had nothing to do with having fun, it was all about preserving my sanity.

If just quitting had worked for me, I would have done it. I tried, and after a day or two, I just couldn’t stand how I felt inside. The thought of going the rest of my life without the ease and comfort of a drink or two, was like the gates of hell clanking shut behind me. Under those circumstances, I couldn’t stay sober. Something more was needed.

I found out I was not alone in my thinking, most alcoholics seem to identify with that hopeless feeling. We are deep in the woods, and can’t find our way out.

I haven’t had a drink in a while, but I did something more concrete than just proclaiming “I quit!” I got into action to get and stay sober.

At any rate, welcome to the club pitbull
Richard

Well, having a different personality to the people here, my drinking experience is probably not appropriate, so I'll leave the support to the ex-alcoholics.

Well, I too am an alcoholic, but drinking was fun, a lot of fun--for a while. After a while I started to have some problems related to my drinking. Then, I did not get much at all from alcohol. For a while I tried everything I could think of to stop or control my use. Nothing worked. I always thought that I would stop and could stop when and if It ever became a problem. When that time came I was unable to stop on my own. But, I went to AA and they stopped my drinking and took care of all my other problems besides.

Good luck with not drinking. Take it just one day at a time. You are not alone. There are thousands of recovering alcoholics in the world.
Jim S

Hiya one and all. Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for the responses and encouraging feedback to my Sobriety Day 1 posting.

With that being my first posting to the forum / group, I found the responses uplifting. I do go to a few AA meetings, and have been since about this time last year. It's rare that I share my own experiences... I haven't got the strength yet and am still trying to find the hope!

Within the last week or so, my focus on my Alcohol addiction has changed and I think that's what will (hopefully) make the difference now.

Until recently, I 'only' focused on why I drank so much, on a daily basis. I think some people may relate to this; I drank to escape. I wanted to escape from all the pain, misery, heartache and to subdue the memories of the past - my childhood. It was horrific!

To some degree, I accomplished that drowning-out, dulling the emotional pain but I could never change it. - Accepting it is one thing, living with it is something else entirely.

More Recently, something happened that made me focus on my Alcohol Addiction and the problems that 'my addiction' was causing - rather than the problems that caused the Addiction in the first place.

So, I guess, the God of my understanding is finally taking notice and perhaps answering My Serenity Prayer!

Thanks for the support.
I desperately need it!
Wayne

Wayne,
Thanks for sharing your struggle!
Congrats on the day of sobriety

Sweetngentle