should i completely quit?

i quit drinking 3 years ago when right before i got pregnant. i had a pretty bad problem for a year with drinking before then; withdrawals including shaking, nausea, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, weird 1 second seizures and not know where i am/who i am afterwards (anyone experienced that by any chance?). after giving birth i was able to drink even to the point of getting drunk and i even stopped liking the feeling. not too long ago i drank alone (i liked it this time, i was shaking with excitement, i kept on chugging, and i wanted to keep on going and just live happily ever after with my alcohol) and i hallucinated the next day, i saw like a lizard that wasn't really there for a second, that's all. wanting to drink all started out with some kid showing me some pills. i never took them but i got really excited from looking at them that i felt like i had to feel high somehow. is this hallucination a warning sign that i shouldn't drink anymore? i also had another hallucination a while ago the day after i got drunk but i had a bad experience that night and didn't ever wanna drink again. oh and yesterday i drank only a beer and a half (i already felt buzzed!) but nothing weird happened. my results from a personality inventory suggests that i may develop and addictive disorder and that i share personality characteristics of substance abuse disorder. i like drinking but i don't wanna throw away my life to it especially now that i have a daughter. should i just avoid it all together?

Imagine this message above is written by your best friend who's asking your advice. What would you respond?

its so much easier to tell a friend to quit. to tell yourself is really hard, especially if you don't have a problem at the moment, or maybe i do. i think i wouldn't be concerned about the drinking unless it was for the hallucination i get the next day, i didn't get that till i began drinking excessively. it like followed me till now. another concern is my past abuse and the abuse that runs in my family. i guess i can drink some beer since i drink it much slower and i don't like the taste too much. its also been a drink i never abused unless i couldn't get hard liquor. another thing, avoid people who abuse drugs and only drink recreationally on weekends. i would also love to start drinking red wine every night for the health benefits. any thoughts?

-- Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:54 pm --

its so much easier to tell a friend to quit. to tell yourself is really hard, especially if you don't have a problem at the moment, or maybe i do. i think i wouldn't be concerned about the drinking unless it was for the hallucination i get the next day, i didn't get that till i began drinking excessively. it like followed me till now. another concern is my past abuse and the abuse that runs in my family. i guess i can drink some beer since i drink it much slower and i don't like the taste too much. its also been a drink i never abused unless i couldn't get hard liquor. another thing, avoid people who abuse drugs and only drink recreationally on weekends. i would also love to start drinking red wine every night for the health benefits. any thoughts?

Drinking red wine every night for the health benefits when you've had hallucinations and paranoia in the past from drinking so much is a bit like reading "Vogue" to cure yourself of body image problems.

I haven't asked you whether you should tell a friend to quit -- I suggested that you know the answer already, you just really, really don't want to admit you do. Which is fine -- it's called denial -- I spent a few years dealing with mine and I still have quite some of it to work through. You won't quit drinking until you hit rock bottom and realise you HAVE to quit -- advice of a stranger or two on the Internet will not be the thing that will change your life. You have abuse in your past, running in your family, bad mental problems caused by alcohol, you admit you occasionally drink to excess, that you feel the need to get out of your head whether by drinking or doing pills. I don't think anyone will tell you "oh no, this is fine, hallucinations are quite amusing really once you get used to them". But there's only one person at the end who can decide whether to quit or not, and that person is you.

I quit drinking precisely 11 months ago, and I was lowering my alcohol intake already in the months before, but I realised that trying to replace whisky with beer or having "just the one drink" just wouldn't work for me. Nobody told me that. In fact, I confessed to my GP I was trying to stop drinking altogether but found it really hard and he said "oh, but it's okay to have a drink from time to time!". It was my decision to stop. I have nobody to blame for the years I spent drinking, for the money I spent, wreckage I did to my liver. But also I had nobody to point at and go "this person made me stop and I wish I didn't". I'm happy to be sober 100% of the time. Will you? Only you can tell.

Big hugs -- I hope you find one way or another that works for you.

thank you for the advice, i've gained a lot of insight from it. you're right about using wine for health benefits, i guess it's not for everyone, huh? occasional drinking isn't either. congratulations on quitting, keep it up