Really Hit Rock Bottom...

I have been an addict of multiple substances for about 10 years now, but alcohol has always remained my "go-to" substance. I just got out of jail today, actually, for the umpteenth time. I have mostly stayed out of trouble (aside from the occasional P.I.) after a short prison sentence I completed back in 2011 and haven't been to jail since 2010. I just recently got a 2nd DUI (my first was in 2009 when I was under 21) in August and haven't yet been sentenced but am facing a mediocre sentence of around 20 days in jail, DA supervision, Drug/Alcohol assessment + the multiple classes I will have to attend and my lawyer even got my community service shortened. Just last week I received another DUI + Leaving the Scene of an Accident and even totaled my (3rd) car in the process. I haven't been drinking anywhere other than home since the previous DUI and the spontaneity of the situation last week with me going to someone's house only blocks from my own and deciding to drink & drive resulted in my most recent charge. I know I have a problem and at this point in my life I have hit my rock bottom. I could be facing another prison sentence if they do not choose to combine these 2 DUI's (haven't yet been sentenced for last month's) considering the one last month was already a 2-year suspended sentence since I have had one in the past. I'm not trying to use the ol' "addiction runs in my family" excuse, but I feel if I had never had the taste for alcohol and never liked the effects (same for other substances) I would be at a much better place in my life right now and could have been very successful as of late. I really haven't done anything I'm proud of since I was probably 12 and it sure takes a toll on my self-esteem (which I never had much of to begin with...) I'm just feeling really down and know that I will be going to jail for longer than just 20 days now and the feelings of regret, shame and guilt are clouding my mind. Why couldn't I just have learned the first time? I understand how these endless cycles go, but this time, this cycle HAS to end. I would really like some support right now if anyone would like to help me out because I'm feeling very discouraged and down on myself at this time and the stress of it all is becoming very overwhelming. I had it pretty good considering if this hadn't have happened last week, I would still have a car and would be able to make it to all of my classes and counseling, under a temporary license of course but a license all the same, and a pretty short jail sentence considering the circumstances. I know I can't just have the "occasional drink" because 1 turns into 20--I have to stop now otherwise my life is going to continue going on a downward spiral. I have screwed up so many friendships/relationships because of my addiction and the trust of my family is pretty much nonexistent, especially now. Please help me feel less crappy about myself and feel free to share a story of you own! I think this forum thing could really help me dig myself out of this whole I am currently stuck in... =/

Well for a start I don't believe your addiction problems are your fault as such, as I believe addiction is a genetic problem. It does tend to run in families.
I used to drink as a teen to self-medicate, I had c##p (narcissistic) parents, crippling social phobia, and no self esteem, but I am not an alcoholic and not a addictive type personality. Why? because I'm strong willed, and you are not. No.
I am lucky, my genes are not addictive, none of my family members are addicted to anything they don't even drink.
So the reason some people get addicted and some don't must mean there is a genetic difference in the way alcohol and other substances are metabolised.

Did you have a good childhood, do other relatives have similar problems?

You do need to change, the only suggestion I've got for you is to go to AA who will understand. It takes time and effort but it has to be done.
Have you ever tried anything like for instance, Naltrexone to help you?

Just read this post from awhile back, and I hope you are doing better. That is a rough month what happened to you. I also think that alcohol addiction is a genetic disease, so in that respect you are not at fault. But there are people who have this disease and CHOOSE to get sober, and there are others who CHOOSE not to get sober. At the time, even though I only have 10 days, I am CHOOSING to get sober. My husband, unfortunately, is CHOOSING not to get sober. I worry about him, and I also worry about you. I hope in the end you make the right CHOICE.