Just introducin myself

Hello all. I just discovered this site and it seems to be just the thing i need right now..advice and support!
Im a 22 year old female livin in virginia.
I have a good job, amazing boyfriend, and consider myself a very functional person in society.
But i have a problem - drinking.
Ive always loved it. How it makes me feel. I started drinkin with my friends at about 14. Getting "drunk" on smirnoffs and whatever our older friends got us.
Not until a few years ago did i realize i began to crave it and want it every single evening/night.
Now its full blown. Its my go to after work, after i eat dinner and chill for a bit..i want my alcohol.
My moms side has lots of alcoholics. My mom is the only girl of 7 brothers and all but one are alcoholics. Her daddy also used to love his liquor.
My dads brother is also an alcoholic.
Ive been around drunk uncles and relatives all my life growin up.
Even my dad likes to have a few beers in the evening.
I dont want to end up like them..but something about it makes me NEED it. Stresses from the day are gone. I feel more laid back. I can have more fun, etc.
Ive only had a withdrawl episode once..and it scared me. My mind felt foggy, i had the shakes, nausea, eyelids were twitching, had trouble putting thoughts into sentences...so i 'weened' myself off with just a few beers a night...
And them of course, bought more gin. And havent been able to leave it since. I dont know what to do. Lately ive had 6-7 shots a night and maybe some beer too..
I know i have a problem but im so afraid of nights without a buzz.
I have a lot of worries and they seem to dissapear (temporarily of course).

Hi WhiskeysQuicker

It's great that despite your problem, you're able to maintain a normal life. That's huge and can serve as a motivator.

About your family, it's unfortunate that so many of them have problems with alcohol as well. It must have been hard growing up in a family like that and then seeing yourself fall into the same patterns.

WhiskeysQuicker88 wrote:I know i have a problem but im so afraid of nights without a buzz.
I have a lot of worries and they seem to dissapear (temporarily of course).

I think these points are the ones you'll have to think more about and consider how they factor into your cravings for alcohol.

When I drank/drugged, the worries were still there but I was numb to them. That was appealing but it mean the problems never had the chance to go away.