Had a few drinks recently out of resentment

Ok so I'm basically sober and off alcohol and have been for quite a while now, but unfortunately the problems that alcohol exaggerated are still affecting me daily, it just isn't exactly a nightmare anymore, but I resent that my problems have not gone away since I quit drinking. I'm still very unstable emotionally, I still get destructive urges and do dangerous things, and my life situation has still not improved enough that I can live a functional life yet, so I'm annoyed that cutting out alcohol hasn't really worked.

About a week and a half ago I bought a bottle of wine at the store and it was a very difficult decision but I did it anyway and had a few glasses at home. It made me feel physically sick and I had lingering depressive symptoms for several days afterward, which I expected and realized even drinking minor amounts occasionally is just not worth it. I slipped and had a minor relapse and it didn't do any good anyway, I gained nothing from it. Now I'm back to complete avoidance of alcohol which I know is the right choice for me, but I don't see how it makes much difference except I'm more comfortable when not drinking. Otherwise I'm still very much a mess.

I'm glad you were able to realize the drinking wasn't worth it. So many people I know would try to muscle their way back into making the alcohol work for them.

Yes, that resentment is a huge factor. For the longest time when I smoked lots of pot, I'd justify it by saying life was crappy anyway, why not try to feel buzzed. People were already distrustful of me, finances were already a mess, etc etc, so it was very hard to find reasons to stay sober.

Years later life still hasn't returned to "normal". Living with addiction does leave some lasting, permanent marks. Friends will remember how bad you got, your financial history will have blemishes, job history will have some gaps. There is nothing you can do about any of that except for doing the absolute best you can for today. With time you can have the kind of life you appreciate and feel happy in, but it will be different than the one you envisioned pre-addiction. Have you ever grieved for the lost opportunity this has cost you?

Well there are numerous other factors in my life that are preventing me from making a substantial recovery but alcohol just wouldn't have solved anything, I'm back to complete sobriety from the stuff. All I got out of it was a few days of discomfort so I know better than to think I can just go back to drinking like it's no big deal. I know that the alcohol problem will never change if I drink it so it might just have been an important learning experience.