drinking again

Rose, every day counts for something. The fact that you can go months without putting on the bag is a wonderful thing. I could never do that. You are a lucky girl.

But I have been trying to piece together a picture of you from what you have told us. I am not trying to beat you over the head with your own words, but lets take a look at what you have said to us…

In your first post you said…
“i knew i couldn't be alone tonight, but i couldn't tell him. he has his night with the boys tonight. i couldn't tell him he couldn't go because his unstable girlfriend has problems.. AGAIN!!!!”

In your second,
“i was drinking a glass, before i knew it the bottle was empty”

Then you told us…
” here's the deal, right now it's going really bad!!! (as if that wasn't obvious....) I HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

add to that, this…
“But every now and then I have a relapse and start drinking again.”

But the one that struck me the most was…
“but one night my fiance told it was either him or the booze”

Not to be stubborn myself, but…. Most of us can stop drinking Rose. We just can’t stay stopped. At some point or another, we HAVE to drink. It’s not that we want to, we literally HAVE TO!

Some of us can’t go more than a day or two, some of us can do like you do, go for a long time, and some of us have gone years without a drink. But every one of us found that the false promise of a bit of ease and comfort offered by a drink or two was just too strong.

And after we pick up that first drink, all bets are off. Sometimes we get loaded and things go sorta OK, and sometimes things go very badly indeed. We never know which outcome is coming next.

It is your life, no one here is going to tell you how to live it. All we can suggest is you might look for patterns in your life. Unhappy patterns.

For someone who isn’t relying on alcohol to fix that something inside, these kind of troubles would make them quit drinking, and never pick up another drop. They would just stop. But sadly, we have that something inside that just isn’t right, and we drink in an attempt to fix it.

We drink to literally preserve our sanity. People who don’t drink like us don’t understand that. But we understand your statement “But every now and then I have a relapse and start drinking again” we understand that very well.

Rose, alcohol is telling you right now that what I am saying is dead wrong, it is telling you that you and it can handle it better next time.

You are a smart girl Rose, do yourself a favor, don’t buy that line of bull#$%@.

At any rate, you started a fine thread. People we may never meet have maybe benefited from it. I hope so.

Richard

thanks richard. i guess maybe you're right. i will find some sort of support group like aa to see if they can give me some advice on how to stay off the drinks..

love
rose

Yes, I agree this is a fine thread. Many will benefit because some universal ideas were brought up. We all attempt to try over and over again to get some control over our drinking. Most of us can remember when alcohol brought us only joy--no problems whatever. Eventually, slowly the good times were replaced by all bad times. By that time, nothing seems to work.

Thanks again for this great thread.

Jim S

Rose…
I was just thinking about you, and thought I would drop you a line. I hope this Monday finds you well. Also. I wanted to let you know that there is more than one way to work on this business of drinking too much.

"Any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question...Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use

Don Jaun


http://www.smartrecovery.org/
http://www.rational.org/plan.html
http://www.moderation.org/
http://www.secularsobriety.org/
http://www.womenforsobriety.org/
http://www.unhooked.com/index.htm

Rose…
Look everywhere, and here are a few links to get you started with. But ask yourself the only question that really matters, does this path have a heart?

Good luck, and stop by and tell us how it’s going.

Richard