A night-time narrative...

I visited these forums for the first time tonight during one of my many moments of sadness. It is something I have come to expect in my life, and something I have learned to live with. There are no answers that I am looking for, and I am not looking for any advice. Knowing what I have gained from experiencing such sadness has opened my eyes as to what I might have been like having not felt it. It is a frame of mind in which depression and happiness become difficult to tell apart, and an unwilling denial of simply wanting to conform to reality. It is both a prison and an escape, and it has given me an insight on life that I would not want to lose. That is my life. What a sad and joyous place to be.

I don't expect everyone to understand what I have written, and I would offer no time to those who don't. If you can sympathise with it I would simply say thank you, but if you have felt it, then you would really be worth knowing. You don't get to talking that way without suffering some form of emotional pain or sadness, that is for sure. It is a burden to do so, but I feel lucky to be able to do it. There will always be those who would accuse you of not being "normal" as you fail to fall into societies standard for living. But who wants to feel so little anyway ?

Although I do not intend to post again on this forum, I have done so in hope for the few I may meet. Should you find yourself alone in the world with your thoughts as I have done tonight, then I would definitely like to know you. To be so comfortable in such company is a curious thing... but certainly not such a bad one.

Good night.
Bl. A