Agoraphobia's other victims

My mother is agoraphobic.
If this is a condition you have, seek treatment because it's very hard on those around you too.
I've been "out" with my mother (just the 2 of us) less than 5 times in my whole life. I'm almost 39. I don't know what it's like to have a mother. I also don't exactly know how to be a mother to my own daughter. I just muddle through and try to do the things I wished my Mom could have done with me. Mom is also an alcoholic. It's how she self-medicates. My father has always been her enabler. I resent this a lot! I know it'll be up to me to take care of my Mom should my father die before her. I really dread it!!!
Don't get me wrong. I love my Mom. I just know the battle that will happen because I will not enable her to be the way she is.
Think of the enablers you have in your life. Are they really helping you? No! All they do is support your treatable illness that you refuse to treat. That IMHO is not in your best interest. Your best interest is to be alive, not just living.
I have panic attacks all the time. Some so bad I don't want to leave the house. When I feel that way, I grab my purse and out the door I force myself.
Yes it's scary but it's scarier to think I'll end up like my Mom.

I realize many of you feel like your trapped and there is no help.

What happens to a man who knows he's going to die tomorrow?
He'll find a way to make it happen, that's what.

Know what happens to a person who knows they're trapped?
They stay at home and become trapped.

It's time you know something different.
You are a free person.
There is help for you but you have to want it.

paNIC ATTACKS ALTHOUGH unpleasant wont harm you, they may actually be good for the heart, panic attack sufferers live to a good age
when having 1, dont tense up or fight back, try to relax and do breathe deep and slow
any valium type meds greatly reduce apanic attack and are very helpful for getting out and about, seeing people, etc, the dose needs to be got right
self help books on overcoming panic disorder and agoraphobia have useful advice

Hi, I've been agoraphobic for 8 years. Now this doesn't mean I don't leave my house. It means I"m scared shitless when I go outside.

Please keep in mind what caused my agoraphobia before you judge me.

I was r@ped at gunpoint, by a stranger and somehow by the grace of God got away, I guess I was more cunning. I have a hx of physical abuse and am a scrapper, I fought him off for 2 hours and then talked him into letting me go to the bathroom, as he held the gun to my head I showed no fear. He agreed and I fled. He chased me to a certain point and then had to turn back when I hit street lights and people.

I then two years later at work had this horrific panic attack, my first one, I couldn't breathe. I could only run. I saw a doc the next day, and was put on medical leave. The PtSD hit me.

After that I had no interest in being amongst people. Criminals lurking amongst us and leering at us from a far. I never wanted to be a target again. If I go somewhere My husband takes me. I don't go out after dark. He doesn't enable me, he protects me.

As a child I was always shy. I later became an extrovert with the lable bipolar. As during mania you feel invincible. This got me in trouble. So to protect myself, and others I stay in.

As my perp still resides in my town. God only knows what I would do if I ran into him.......

What happens to a man who knows he's going to die tomorrow?
He'll find a way to make it happen, that's what.

I tend to disagree, he / she hides from death. We don't want to die. That is why we are still alive.

Self preservation.

The truth is, there are two kinds of people affected by mental illness/disorders: the people who suffer from the illness/disorder, and the loved ones who suffer with them.

My husband suffers from panic disorder/anxiety/agoraphobia stemming from his mother's drug abuse and him having to be the "adult" of the house, including working three jobs while going to high school to pay the mortgage, cars, etc. He avoided therapy or any help, ashamed of the stigma of "being crazy" and the emotional pain of dealing with it--which led to his recent breakdown and almost complete incapacitation. It took him to reach rock bottom to seek help.

My husband transformed from a functioning adult with hopes and plans to a shell of a person. He became unreliable, avoidant, and severely depressed. I could not help but feel like I lost my partner. I have often felt, and still feel, frustrated, scared, and angry. I try not to take it out on my husband, as I understand it is very painful and not his fault--but it is very lonely in the process.

I struggled with supporting vs. enabling my husband. I was afraid that if I did everything, and required nothing from him, would I help or hurt him in the long run? And could I live like that forever? I found a balance that by offering to go with him on errands and appointments--but he had to go, too. He hated me at first but now thanks me for not letting him completely avoid his fears.

I appreciate your experiences, Ddeehopes, as noone's illness or experiences are the same. I also understand, having gone through a severe depression due to trauma (including hospitalization) that it is a long and hard road, unreachable to those who have not experienced it, and often one does not come out the same person as before.

But I also understand Witchygurl as well, because noone is unaffected by a loved one's illness. That is why I believe that if one is in pain, one should try to seek help, as they owe to MOST of all themselves, and their loved ones, a chance at recovery and a fuller, happier life.

I don't think she was trying to belittle anyone on this site, but was coming from her own pain and experiences.

As we cannot understand the pain of one going through mental illness or suffering from a disorder, we suffer as well, both from the effects of the illness and to see loved ones in so much pain and so unreachable in that pain.

This is so sadly true, we don't mean to be a burden. I speak for myself.

I attained agora. 2 years after the incident. My SO was already aware of the facts, but then it hit. He has to make so many adjustments in his life for me. In sickness and in health. he also suffers from depression, so we help eachother.