So first off I live a pretty normal life.. I have a job, I go to college, I've had a girlfriend for the past 6 years, and I have a friends.
Most of the time during the day i don't feel anxiety. That is unless i'm put into a situation that I don't like. For example if at work a customer becomes confrontational, something like "I don't know whats wrong with you guys but .. etc etc." I completely shut down. Its hard for me think, and I feel like I just want to run from the situation. Fortunately i'm able to just refund people and they go on their marry way, but if they ever wanted to be in an extended debate, I feel as if i would just walk away from them, and I don't know why, i just feel as if my body needs to be away from that situation.
I also get that feeling when I have gone to Disneyland. I went with family once and they wanted me to go on rides, I waited in line, and when it came time to go on the ride i just walked away. As if my body was telling me I was going to die on that ride. The way i avoid this in my day to day life, is to not go to theme parks with anyone at all, that way i never have to be in that situation.
The more I think about it the more I realized that I have worked my life pretty well around avoid things that give me that feeling. Recently however its started to get worse. It seems as if the things that give me this feeling are adding up. It used to be just rides/customers/ riding in cars with others driving/flying (more on this later). Now its moved on to me being afraid of earth quakes, people coming into my house at night, a plane crashing into my house, and falling sleep and suffocating myself with my own tongue ( i know the last one sounds dumb). And these actually keep me awake a night, increased heart rate, and worrying.
I have never experienced a traumatic event in my life. So it won't have anything to do with that.
Most importantly I want to talk about my extreme fear of flying and planes in general. I don't trust them, and ever since I was young I felt like I was going to die in a plane crash. My gf (who i'm probably going to marry) wants to travel and I know some day I will have to fly on a plane. This terrifies me, literally scares me just thinking about it, and again, keeps me up at night, every night. I think about it all day every day and we don't even have plans to where/when we're going. I promised her I would and I intend to, which its partly why i'm here.
I know that I have some form of anxiety, because I understand the feeling of loosing control of my body and not being able to think right in certain situations. The feeling of wanting to run away, and not wanting to be in some situations. I love staying home, and its why i've always played online mmos and have tons of friends online. I work within walking distance of my house, and go to college within walking distance. If i have to go any further than say 10 miles, I have to have every detail planned out and i leave at the lest trafficked times, this way I can avoid any situations i'd be uncomfortable in. I hate crowds of people.
So anyways thats my story. I want to get your opinions because I don't want to be walking around thinking i have Agoraphobia when i don't, because thats just insulting to people who do. I think if anything maybe i have a little bit of it, but its not sever. Anyways if you read that whole post thanks for you time and responses
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed