Is there life after agoraphobia? please help.

I so desperately want to leave my house but I don't know where to go. I lost ALL of my friends, every single one and haven't talked to anyone from my high school. No one has reached out to me.
I go to a community college, which is great and all but I still feel life is empty and has no meaning truly. I just am devastated by the conditions of living in. Im 20 years old and I started to develop agoraphobia when I was 16 or 17. I pursued help many many times but the professionals failed to acknowledge the actual problems in my life.

I desperately want to make friends, but it's hard at a commuter school, a lot of nice people i meet there, I don't ever see again. I have wanted to reach out to hang out with some of them and have asked but feel like I have nothing to offer to others. My life is lacking in every single way.

I also really want to meet a guy that I could hang out with or would like to get to know me. As a young person now a days, most people i know are into random hook ups and guys rarely show interest in actual dating, just sex. But maybe that's me. Maybe they do want to have genuine relationships but just want to use me.. which is even worse.

What have I done wrong? Most people don't have this happen to them and whenever I ask for help, people suggest to change. I want to change my lifestyle for sure (and have tried) and i've tried to change myself but it only led to more heartbreak and self hatred.

I am absolutely not suicidal, but the thought of death is reassuring. I think about it a lot. I don't think about suicide or committing suicide. I don't self harm anymore, it's been a while since I have and I don't intend to do it ever again. However, i do find myself fantasizing about death quite a bit because it all seems so hopeless
(I again will say I AM NOT SUICIDAL, I don't want to commit suicide, so please don't worry.)

Is there a happy life after agoraphobia?
Will I ever have the chance to start anew, or at least pick up where I left off?
Where should I go to leave the house?

One of the worst mistakes that young people these days make is the irrational push for relationships even though they know what they are getting into is more than likely going to make their lives worse. Should you talk to middle age and older people and they will tell you that it is better to wait and take care of other more important things first like finishing college. Dating in ones 30s isn't the end of the world but to say this when dating better have standards and good sense to not bring into your life a real mess.

Agoraphobia is a luxury that I wish I could afford as I really want to retire early and get away for a while to deal with my own issues. As for socializing it is not hard but making it last and be meaningful is another matter, college for me was years of depression.

Have you thought about asking the people you meet if they have a social media account? That way, even if you meet just once, you can ask to add them and start communicating with them on there. Even if you don't feel you have a lot to offer, you probably do, as a lot of time in isolation leads to learning lots and thinking about a bunch of things. Start to share some of the things you read or thought about when communicating with people and you will find that there are some people who will naturally start to gravitate back to you.

angelbabe wrote:Where should I go to leave the house?

Where do you want to go? Where have you always dreamed of going? What steps can you take to gradually make that possible?