It's that time of year

So Christmas will soon be here, and family obligations call. I was just wondering how you all deal with the pressure of having to attend family gatherings when suffering with agoraphobia. I dread the holidays and I feel panicky about trying to force myself to go (family is about 4 hours away by car) or making an excuse not to go. My family is aware of my problems but I don't think they realize how hard it is to do "normal" things. What is easy for so many is excruciatingly difficult for me. I agonize about it in advance and then try to think of ways to get out of it. How do you all cope with it? I am sitting up now at 3 am because I am stressing over the upcoming holidays and to top it off my mother has a huge milestone birthday for which the family is having a huge party. I joined this board looking for someone who can understand the emotions I am going through right now… I guess I just need to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

I hate the holidays.

I mean I don't mind the celebration for other people, but it's all the gatherings and parties and the crowds and people faking their niceness. It's not my cup of tea. I don't have a big family in town; one half of them live about six hours away, the other half live across the country (U.S). I'm a college student and I still live with my parents so it's usually just the three of us.

But my boyfriend's family all lives in town and it's a huge family and they have parties and I almost always find a way to get out of it. I know it makes me look rude and stupid and unfriendly but I can't handle all of them laughing and yelling and it's not as if I can talk with them easily anyway. It's just a situation I don't enjoy. I mean, the only reason I leave my apartment is to either go somewhere with him or make it to class once a week. I don't have any other reason to leave and I'm never comfortable outside anyway.

So you're definitely not alone in this struggle.

Thank you for responding, I empathize with much of what you wrote!

You described the gatherings quite well, all the talking over one another/laughing/being loud… talk about sensory overload. I really wish that people could understand that not all people are social, and not everyone wants to be in these situations. I tend to absorb people's energies, so when I am around a lot of people it feels very hectic and stressful… it is not pleasant and I am usually just thinking of how long I have to stay there before I leave. Yet because of how society operates, if you want to stay alone on these occasions you are considered "not normal." Sigh… so off I go to visit my family on Xmas day…"the most wonderful time of the year" indeed...

Lol exactly. As soon as I arrive to one of those things my eyes are on the clock starting the countdown I think I'm going to stay away from any parties this holiday week, I'm kind of over it. And then I know new years is coming up and uuggghhh. Anyway, have as much fun as you possibly can with your family lol. I wish you the best.

I survived.

The night before I did not sleep a wink, which always makes things tougher because you are soooo tired when you have to face the clan. Btw, I know I could have it much worse with a larger family but the head count was 9 people so I am grateful for the fact that there aren't more people.

For New Year's Eve I am planting myself right on my couch at home where I am most comfortable. I hope you have similar plans and for anyone who has to wade out into party land, good luck and hang in there! Happy New Year everyone!