Almost never leave the house...

Hello everyone, I've been on this forum before as well as another one but had given up on socializing at all for over a year now. I just started lurking again today and was surprised to read a lot of stories that sounded similar to mine and so I thought I would post too.

I'm 23 and have absolutely no friends, not even on the internet. I used to but eventually pushed them all away and haven't spoken to anyone outside of my family in a very long time. I find it very difficult to handle any amount of interaction with people in general and so I end up ignoring them eventually because of the anxiety it causes me. I have no life skills or education and generally feel like a total failure that doesn't deserve friendship or happiness. I fear more than anything that people will judge me or think badly of me and so I avoid them completely. I have left the house 2 times in the past 9 months. I always have to have somebody in my family go with me, I've actually never been alone before in public. The idea is really frightening. I feel like a kid that was never allowed to grow up.

I have never been on medication for anything or even seen a doctor, I'm not sure how I could. My anxiety is so debilitating and my family is not much help seeing as most of them have similar problems. I'm not sure what to do anymore, I feel like I'm rotting in my room day in and day out, my depression is starting to get worse again. I feel like I will never get help. Where do I even start to try and make things better?

I'm much older than you, 48. But I don't have one friend, either. And my family won't help. I just posted about this, then I read your post, and wanted to let you know you're not alone.
When I was a kid, we had "Pen Pals" in school. Just writing letters back and forth to some unknown kid far, far away.
Sometimes, I wish I could have an email pal. There's no time pressure to respond, or even better, show up anywhere! Just write when you feel like it. Share your day. Make friends, without the public or social obligations!
Also, having 5 dogs helps! LOL

Welcome to the club!! I'm 41 and female, no friends,no partner.My best friend was my mother and she died in July from cancer after 9months of me taking care of her.Right now I'm struggling to leave the house.I lived with her all my life along with my schizophrenic brother.Right now i wish i could die and be with her.I've never really cared about having friends as I'm a loner just like my mum was.But i get crippling anxiety attacks when i get to far from home.Been that way as long as i remember.No easy answers I'm afraid.

I'm so sorry to hear this, it's so sad. You are suffering with serious mental health issues and are totally deserving of friendship and happiness.

I'm 25 and in a very similar position -- I've finally started a degree via distance learning and am making an attempt at coping with some voluntary work in healthcare sector with the hope that I'll somehow make a breakthrough and at least then be confident enough and competent enough for care work or similar whilst i'm studying. There should be so much more help and understanding for people in our position.

If you ever want to chat about this...maybe we can share our experiences & there's a way I can help you take some first steps? Never ever give up hope xx

Liz

Socialising is hard since by just talking to people or trying to make friends doesn't work, you need to click just right with someone. But such situations can be intimidating and if you act scared then it is quite hard to gain any friendship although some people naturally end up with lots of friends due to their personality/friendliness or skills that can seem unfair but I suppose that is how it goes. Even when you have tried everything you have thought of or can do things may still not work out with anyone, but the key is determination.

Suppose the main issue is to tackle is confidence in public and with people then. I mean you posted this in the agoraphobia section so.yeah. Well of course it is easiest to overcome such things when you face them directly but only small steps can help.

Maybe the place to start is therapy but perhaps self therapy will suit you better. Things like questioning your own views about situations and revaluation of your views in general can help. Plus emotional release that kinda thing.

If you ever wanna chat or anything, I'll be happy to

29, M. Here. It sounds as though the physical stress and mental blocks are stopping you from actually living the life you want. Do you have pets? Walking my dog has been a huge therapy gain for me. It's really just exposure therapy. That's the only way through it. Small gains sure ad up. Another issue that people gloss over is diet and excersize. We weren't meant to live these sedentary lives and eat terrible food with low nutrients. Anxiety is greatly effected by diet/excersize. People don't want to admit it, but once they realize this and make these changes its amazing what happens to the body and mind. I started small by cutting out fried foods and red meat for the most part and got on an indoor excersize regimen from my house. A stationary bike, a pull-up bar, and ab roller. I worked out everyday and ate better and I just started feeling like being outside more. I looked better, could walk longer, and those endorphins were a huge boost of confidence in dealing with the outside world. Meds can be a big help, but there are risks involved. Especially if you have never taken drugs before. You have to understand that when taking something, your thought processes will be changed. Could be better, could be worse. But you need to understand what is reality and what is the drugs effects. I've had luck with some SSRI's eliminating social phobias, but they also slowed me mentally and made me a bit apathetic. That's why some people can lose it on these. They make you less worried but also can make you care about things less which for some people can be enough to make them do stupid things.

I`m not a shrink so I wont pretend to have an answer to anything, nor will I offer actual advice on what is obviously a complex situation which is most likely outta your control. You and I are on a similar boat, so far be it from me to advocate any form of optimism.

However. That being said, I might have a different approach for you to consider. You know, getting to know people and making friends via threads is... not very effective, if you ask me. I think threads are more of a pass time or venting sorta thing, at best. A place where most people say "Hey there! did you know I can relate to you!", but thats about it. Or, at least thats what it feels like for me. I hope you can forgive my sarcasm. I got some issues too, you see.

So...if your interested, you are more then welcome to PM me if you wanna talk with someone. We don't have to talk about this whole thing exclusively. I mean, we can do that if you want, feeding into each others neurosis I mean. But perhaps we should also explore other subjects of interest, you know? don`t get wrong, I am alot like you - I got no friends either. No life. No nothing. I`m like a plant, only without that whole photosynthesis thing, so i`m not even contributing to anything in the world. Plus i`m not very attractive either, so toss that into the equation too.

Anyway. If your up for a nice chat, lets do it. If not, thats cool too.

Heal. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm 20 and I haven't left my house in almost 2 years. I also used to have friends online but I never really kept up the conversations although I'm getting better at it. I wish I could help but it seems as if we're in the same boat. However, if you want to talk, let me know.

I'm so sorry to hear you suffering from this. I've read that immersion therapy works but so far it hasn't for me. I don't have a choice I have to drive to a neighboring town over a horrible delqbidated bridge and it never gets easier. People just don't understand.because I'm not working everyone just calls me when they need a ride or whatever. They have no idea how stressful it is.

I'm 26 years old, I just leave home to go to the market, this is my life at 6 years.