Driving Phobia

Hi

I am new to this forum and so happy to find a place to talk:)

I didnt know that driving phobia existed until i started feeling it myself.

I will be 21 this year.as a learner driver,no friends or family actually bothered to help me out so after all the begging i had to turn to a driving instructor.now from my understanding, one should have lessons with an instructor and with a family member.that was not my case.I had about 20 lessons with my driving instructor and that was only to get me ready for the test.I was so eager to be a licensed driver.i got my license the second time.I never ever drove any of the cars at home so when i decided to take the car i went with a friend and it was just practise and i was so confident by the time i got home that i decided to pull the car into my drive way and i scrapped the entire left side of the car!i was already nervouse to drive and this put my confidence down.my friend passed awy last year so i cant depend on her anymore:(
after the car was scrapped i did not drive for 7 months but then mum bought me a car and i was super excited.I always had staaling issues and wanted an auto for the same reason but she bought me a manual and its too late to take it back!once i got the car i would go for practises with my dad and he would insult me and say how can u stall how can u be nervous or things like u dont know directions u cant even drive.those things put my confidence down.i decided to take refreshment lessons with my instructor and while driving he would put pressure and be like 'go faster what are u waiting for' or he would laugh at me.I havent driven for 3 months now and im still stalling.i cant take the car out the yard because its very very narrow and everyone refuses to take it out for me or park it in a convinient way!i dont go out and when i do drive i get oanik attaks.im not sure if the panik is coz i was abused many times and had depression.im not sure

i need help and guidance.im watching my life slip away as im always home i dont even see my boyfriend

please help me:(:(i know they say to practise but how can i when im so terrified to jump in the driver seat.im such a cautious driver but still

i dont want to be like this anymore and i feel so weak and alone

and how do u park in a shopping mall parking?my instructor thought me with poles so when my shoulder is in line with the second pole i turn full lock

please help i have no one who is willing to help

You are one of those people who needs to start slowly, I didn't park in between other cars for 2 years after I got my driver's license. In the beginning I suggest just parking next to 1 car with an empty space on the other side so that you can feel safe at least on the empty side that you won't bump into a car, eventually you will develop better awareness of how "big" your car is, at first it is hard to judge the size of your car and how much you can risk by moving closer to other cars.