help...i cant leave my house!

Im really freaking out. i have extreme anxiety when i have to leave my house and its getting worse. i was diagnosed with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder about 5 years ago. it used to be avoiding crowded places and panic attacks in long lines...hate the market, mall...anything where it is crowded or there a lines. i still could maintain a social life with friends though. now i have none because i isolated myself. i also suffer from depression and who knows what else. no meds, cant afford since ive been out of work which began over a year ago after a lay off. i used to make good money, owned prperty now i have nothing. i am a 30 year old female living back with my parents. i just moved back from california where i was happy briefly but it didnt work out. now that im back here, i have intense anxiety at the thought of eing in public or driving anywhere. ill try to get ready or find xcuses not to go. ive been getting a ton of interviews but i keep blowing them off because the anxiety. i feel like im going to throw up. id rather hide in....and i hate being at my parents. im embarrasses my life fell apart. im nohing. i feel like if i go out people judge me ir are talking about me so i avoid it. ive been really suicidal...think of it daily. im lost. i can get a job easily but i knoq i cant perform like i used to. i did temp wrk last week and being in an office environment was awful. it all seemed fake...i was vry nervous and kept my stare down and avoided eye contact. it was awful. i cant get professional help with no insurance and no job to pay f med...its a vicious cycle. im stuck. what can i do?

To add to this post, i live in the smallest state in the US. everyone knows everyone. you ant escape past friends or past loves. you may walk into a bar and see three of them all in seperate social circles that go to the same places because there is no where else to go. til now, i was very social. everyone knewme, and i stood out in a crowd being tall and blonde people just always recognize me.also my job in business development had me taking out business dinners almost nightly. so i cant even go out and avoid old colleagues. I just want to hide. i feel like im on display for critisim if i go out and fear seeing anyone i know. when i was in CA it wasnt bad bexause i didnt know anyone. i could be me and live. The second day at my temp job, i realized two people i had dated where on the board and the receptionist is a girl i hate or who hates me rather...shes a groupie to my cousins band and expressed major jealousy issues aince i used to play an integral role in their management and promotions. anyhow, an example of no escape and wanting to hide