I am admitting a disorder

I have a problem that is affecting my daily life and I am so far away from ever affording therapy. Please help!! I think everyone is out to get me especially ones who I know have tried to develop closeness with me. When I get to know them I suddenly turn against them and think that they are going to hurt me. So I imagine scenes that my mind makes up of those people (who probably just want the best for me) conspiring against me, lying to me and acting oblivious to it all. So I believe what my mind makes up and I start to mis-interpret their non-verbal behavior until I think that I have caught them. Most of the time, I confront them of "wanting or planning" to hurt me. The result? They get really offended and hurt by my words. Their usual reply is "how could you even think that I would possibly want to do this to you?" and then they get upset and I end up feeling like dirt. So I either cut them off for a while or I act to apologize and say "that's not what I meant". I lost many friends and have tension with my family because of this. Please tell me how I can get out of it.