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Bissexuality and guilt

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Bissexuality and guilt

Postby mariindworld » Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:08 pm

Hi!
Well, I am bissexual and I have a boyfriend.
For me it's more often to be attracted by woman than men, so because I fell in love with my current boyfriend, I thought I'd never think about woman again.
The thing is... I still think about woman, I desire, I even dream.
I like my boyfriend a lot, I really admire him, find him attractive, love his company, and I think I love him,and I really don't want to hurt him, but I feel shared in the middle.
I don't know what to do.
This issue about my sexuality is really making me worry and wonder.

Anyone had this experience before?
Any advise?
Thank you.
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Re: Bissexuality and guilt

Postby Ada » Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:43 pm

I've thought about other people while with a partner before, I don't think that's unusual. It's a choice, to stay with one person and be faithful to them. Not always an easy choice to make.

Could opening your relationship help? Many men are happy to have a threesome when it's two women involved. And that would be a way to enjoy that side of your nature occasionally, without leaving your boyfriend or hiding anything from him.
We think too much and feel too little.
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 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


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Re: Bissexuality and guilt

Postby BrokenAspie87 » Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:55 am

Welcome to polyamory!
I love women and happen to have married a man. So, I just pick up random chics when I can. I've only had two serious relationships with women and a man. They went well. No guilt, no huge problems. The thing is they don't last very long. If you were gay, would you want into an already made family? Not unless you didn't want one of your own right? And if you didn't want one of your own, what makes you think being a part of another one is what you want? It's rough at first. I only started dating guys so my mom wouldn't find out I was gay. Then I got married. Then I came out to her per request of my girlfriend. Then she left me. sad day. I still have the husband. He is just a big lesbian and does all the lesbian stuff I like. He really enjoys it too.
The biggest problem you would be facing is jealousy. You go into a relationship thinking all is well and then bam, it hits you at the most odd times. The trick is, don't let it fester and end your relationship. Deal with it as a natual part of the situation. Rule number two. DO NOT lie to your spouse or hide your girlfriend. This is sabotaging it from the start. You all have to be very honest with eachother. If you aren't honest with your current choice, don't pick up a chic (minus a one night stand) unless you are. I even put in my wedding vows that I promise to forsake all other men, and then he promised to forsake all other men. lol. Yeah, and the funny part is my mom thought I was kidding! When I came out, I told her otherwise.
Number last. Being with a chic doesn't mean you HAVE TO share her with your boyfriend. I will only share her if I personally have decided that she doesn't matter to me anymore. We do this with guys, it's a natual part of the selection process in finding a mate. I just get in a few extra for the road if you know what I mean. When I'm in love, David knows he cannot touch her. But since me and David are soul mates, my gf's always end up being Davids new best friend because they are all like him. I don't mind that at all. Even if threesomes are for you, don't be afraid to ask for alone time with either person. If they both love you they will understand.
Good luck!
The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.
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Re: Bissexuality and guilt

Postby Kashellia » Sun Apr 27, 2014 8:03 am

It can be a scarey thing when its still so new to you. The most important thing i will tell you is communication. Be sure that you are honest with your boyfriend about your feelings, im sure he would also love the chance of having a threesome with you and another girl. This could be something that you do together just randomly, pick up a chick from the night clubs or something and have a bit of fun every now and then with another chick.

Polyamory is another option. My hubby and i practice this lifestyle. Its more then just having a threesome for fun every now and then though. There is a commitment between all three people. My hubby and i have dated a few women over the years and had an emotional and physical commitment between all 3 of us. It can be alot of fun, but it can also be hard work.

In order for these to work and not damage your relationship is to ensure that you have completely open and honest lines of communication with each other. And yes, this means revealing everything. When one of you starts keeping secrets it can grow into something damaging. Open and honest communication is an absolute must for relationships like this to work and function healthily.
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