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New Outlook on my Problems

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New Outlook on my Problems

Postby PaleBlonde » Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:49 am

I have to say I have been chronically miserable and confused the majority of my adolescent and young adult life. I am now 23 years old and after achieving some independence and stability over the period of 1 year I am noticing the problems I perceive in my life are actually after-effects of medical and emotional neglect throughout my childhood. I will say that I don't think my parents were aware that they were causing harm or not taking good enough care of me- perhaps they had mental problems themselves (they did not fully understand the consequences of their choices, bad judgment) or just due to a defective culture. Not only did my parents not provide me any medical care but they also invalidated me on so many different levels. To be fair, I think it was mostly bad judgment but just the fact that they were not fully or intentionally neglectful did not make them any better parents. I did get dental care which they obviously perceived as necessary BUT the comorbidities I am finding now are things that should have been found as a very young child had they been aware and followed the doctor's advice. I am now having to get all these things done on insurance at once because of how they neglected my medical care over time and I have a good job and good insurance.

I was first suspected to have a visual processing disorder 1 year ago and I am now finding out that I have a congenital anomaly with my eye causing refractive amblyopia which could have been found and slow visual processing could have been prevented HAD MY PARENTS BEEN AWARE AND CONCERNED in early childhood. They chose to ignore my teachers concerns about a possible abnormality with my learning because they were cheap and didn't want to pay anything for further testing. Had the proper protocol been followed I would have first been sent to an opthamologist who would've discovered the unequal eye size and they could have done something that would have helped the visual processing part of my brain develop normally. This vision problem caused many inefficiencies (slow reading speed, lack of depth perception etc.)

I am now being diagnosed with a congenital heart valve problem that is being watched because of new onset chest pain and fatigue which could have been discovered in early childhood had my parents followed the doctor's advice and done a $60 test. I now know this is why I didn't have any endurance and couldn't play sports.

I am suspected to have severe social anxiety disorder which went ignored and undiagnosed and became such a severe pattern that I developed a tendency toward odd thinking that is illogical and almost paranoid in nature

It is ridiculous the # of comorbidities I am now discovering, I am even suspected of having Wernicke's-Korsakoff syndrome due to an inability to metabolize B vitamins. When I was a minor and can see I had many intelligent instincts but they were different from my parents and I was always invalidated and made to feel like I was the one who was wrong. When I was growing up it was all about my older sister and her needs came before mine because she got to the trust fund before me and was a good student. She was always "right" and I was always crazy and immature

The irony of all this is that it is not I who is defective, it is the judgment and character of those around me and the suffering that I have had to go through is just bad luck.
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