is this as serious as I feel it is?

my mother constantly yells at me. she digs for things to yell at me for, to express disappointment in me. I can do everything she asks me to do and she still finds something to yell at me for. I don't know how much longer I can handle it. I'm already extremely depressed, and when I'm finally proud of myself for doing something that I usually don't have the motivation to do, she acts like it's nothing and like I'm not making any progress. she talks down to me like I'm a failure. it feels like nothing I do is ever enough. I really want to get a job so I can be out of the house more but my anxiety has been preventing me from doing that. every time I pull up an application, I break down and have a panic attack because I think about all the things that could go wrong in an unfamiliar place. my mother is also constantly telling me to get a job. I turned 18 in january, I've been in therapy for around 5 years, and she's preventing me from getting better. I don't know what to do. every time she yells at me I go into a panic and I usually dissociate. I don't know if how she's treating me can be considered abuse, my dad just blows it off and agrees that my mom is difficult to live with.

Ugh, I've tried to post a reply twice so far with no luck. Hopefully this time it works! Yes, it's emotional/verbal/psychological abuse. It will make you not trust your feelings and instincts. Tell your mother that she's making you sick and that you need space until you get a job and move out. Distance yourself from her for a little bit. Your priority right now should be establishing yourself, not working out whatever issues you have with your mother so you don't owe her anything. She should respect your boundaries until you're in a stable position. If you have to tell her in a letter, do that. But definitely let her know that you need space from her. If she continues to harass you after that, just walk away. Leave the room, or leave the house. Don't entertain abuse. If she doesn't stop, stay with friends/family or go to a shelter.

I have an emotionally abusive mother. The abuse ended when I moved out at 17 and lived with my aunt. I ended up living on my own at 18 while working full-time. Since then I've never put up with my abusive mom.

The truth is some of us have crappy parents. And that will never change.

as much as you want that liberation and validation of telling your mom how you feel, I don't think telling her is a good idea. until you have a way out, it might be a better plan to just make up some sort of reason why it would be best for you to keep some distance from her for now. Like "well, I am volunteering at the VA hospital so I need to self quarantine so I don't accidentally expose you to covid, so I would really appreciate it if you could help me by having my room be for me only for right now. It would sure be such a big help!" Make it about her. Make it sound like you are trying to make her look good and like the hero. Narcissists really only have a few blind spots and flattery is usually a pretty big one. Caring about other people's feelings is another, so if you make it about her helping you you might not get very far. But if you make it about her being a hero she might take the bait.

Don't believe your own lies though. just do what you have to do in order to get some air and then get out. That's how I got away from my mom. Some of my siblings never did though. Just be careful not to jump from the frying pan into the fire. It can be hard to spot other toxic situations when you are drowning in a toxic environment. Make a plan to get to a safe and more stable life where you have a secure place to sleep and an income to buy food.