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My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

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My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

Postby Mapper » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:07 pm

I HATE driving when my husband is in the passenger’s seat. I Have zero issue driving when I’m alone or driving others, but I am so paranoid driving him because I question my every move.

He got into an accident a week ago and broke a bone in his foot so I had to drive him to and from work on Friday and Saturday. Going to work on Friday was okay but coming home I just about broke down in tears. I go in to get H at his job and he plays the whole "hi honey" upbeat mood that always throws me for a loop because he is putting on an act for all his coworker. We get out to the car and he starts bitching about his coworker and how he had to go get parts on his crutches and everything while this guy was away from the desk for "hours at a time". I pull out of the parking lot and he practically jumps down my throat because I wanted to go one way. I have to do a u-turn where I have to wait on a bunch of cars. Finally get going where we need to and he goes "I forgot my pills". I say "so I assume we need to go back" and he goes "Of course we do!". I have to go in and get them from his drawer and I ask if it's OK if I go behind the desk to get it and he goes "Well yeah! How else did you think you were going to get them? Magic?" I’m very uncomfortable right now. So nobody is going to wonder why I'm going behind your desk? I only see one bottle and he has 3 bottle of pills so I come out and say "is this the only one?" to which he replies "Well did you see any others?" I say no and he goes "Well I guess there weren't any others then were there?!" Oh this ride home in traffic is going to be fun! He starts complaining about how his knee and foot really hurt and his back hurts from sitting in that chair at work. We get on the interstate and even the HOV lane is backed up so I get off early and go through town which is just as backed up. He complains about me being in the wrong lane then complains about how we would have gotten here faster if we would have stayed on the interstate (if I had stayed on the interstate he would have complained that I should have gotten off). I go the routes thru town I always take and he complains about that saying “NOW where are you going? You are taking every route that is making our trip longer”. We get stuck behind a bunch of cars and he starts sighing. I can’t make the cars go any faster. I’m sorry your leg hurts but none of that has to do with me! I didn’t get into the accident, I’m not the one who took off the cast and started walking on it the day after the accident, I’m not the one who also gave up the crutches the next day as well and started walking on it (he uses crutches at work so they can see just how hurt he is). I am trying to help you out by driving you but you are making me feel like a complete idiot who can’t drive. I don’t say a word about his driving when I’m in the passenger seat even though he practically road rages every single time. He gets right up on people’s bumpers, flashes lights at them and makes them angry, rolls down the window and yells at people which apparently is just fine, but me going too slow in a lane is horrible.

I actually like to drive. I don’t mind if I take a wrong turn somewhere, I’ll figure it out, but I immediately freeze up with him in the car because every move is constantly judged. He hates the fact that I don’t get into the HOV lane when he’s with me, but I hate doing that because I have to go over 4 lanes of heavy traffic to get there and then go over another 4 lanes when I need to get off and of course he criticizes my lane changing skills. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or what. He did apologize later that night for being in a bad mood, but that was too late in my opinion, especially when I did nothing but try to help him.
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Re: My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

Postby prayers76 » Mon Aug 28, 2017 9:33 pm

Hey there .. my husband makes me very nervous when I drive too. He gives me so much anxiety so I can really relate to your post. The question is .. is he only like this when you drive, or is it constant nit picking at everything you do?
I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's rough!
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Re: My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

Postby Mapper » Tue Aug 29, 2017 5:06 pm

Oh no, he will nitpick a majority of what I do. I can't fold his clothes the right way so he unfolds them and does them "right", that is if he's around. If he isn't then he doesn't care and it's done. I don't cut up vegetables the right way for certain things, I buy the wrong brand at the store and should have known to get the name brand, when he'll go and buy an off brand because it's cheaper but apparently I can't. I do all the cleaning and yardwork when he's not there so I don't have to hear how I'm doing it "wrong". Funny this is, he'll come home after it's done and say how good everything looks! Yet if he was there while I was doing it, he'd get so upset about the way I was doing it.
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Re: My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

Postby prayers76 » Tue Aug 29, 2017 9:39 pm

I often ask my husband why don't I find all sorts of things to nitpick about him. Why does he have to find so many things wrong with me? It's really disheartening and hurtful. I do everything at home and work full time. He also works and does the yard work, but that hasn't stopped him from calling me lazy. :(
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Re: My husband makes me so nervous when I have to drive.

Postby HislilPrincess » Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:40 pm

I chuckled at a few places in post however on a serious note it is very rude and annoying to have your partner tell you how to drive and where to drive. OK if he was being helpful than maybe, but to be giving orders and not trust your abilities of how and where this starts------ and has to stop ha ! :D

I would make it very clear to him that you are quite capable of finding your way around when you are at the wheel. He needs to settle down and stop making so many demands, I wouldn't be having none of it, bc apparently I"mma tad bit tense ha :D

Say to him very firming yet sweet ( don't hurt his fweeling for the love of God ) You may just have to hold his hand ^*caugh *......Enough !!!! :mrgreen:
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