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Need to leave

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Need to leave

Postby voracious_lemon » Wed Sep 30, 2020 7:55 pm

I've been looking for apartments all day but I can't afford anything because I've ######6 schizoaffective, PTSD, and probably have ADHD and cannot hold down a full time job for more than a month and I'm hospitalized like four times a year because I'm a piece of $#%^ who can't control herself.
I gotta get out of here though. I can't stand anymore to live in a place where I was raped repeatedly, held at gunpoint, dragged out of the house by the police, and a bunch of other traumatic $#%^ with a delusional drug addict when I'm trying to get clean, but my family member keeps bringing drugs into the house and using right in front of me.
But I'm young, have no clue how to set boundaries, and no clue how to even get hired at more than minimum wage let alone hold down a job for more than a month. Everything I try, I fail at. And now I just assume I'm going to fail, so I don't try. I'm sick of this life.
All I saw was the Devil's soul
And it looked a helluva lot like my own
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Re: Need to leave

Postby Wally58 » Wed Sep 30, 2020 9:34 pm

When I first got sober in AA, they told me to change 'People, Places and Things'. I had to because I was stuck on an insane merry-go-round of self-destruction. I kept getting back on the ride because I knew no other way to live.

I also got to choose a slogan. I chose 'First things first' as I needed to remind myself of the priorities. I was so scatter-brained and constantly distracted that I could not focus and center myself to do what I had to do. Keeping clean and sober was # 1, because without that as a starting point, nothing else mattered.

Life got more manageable, but it never really gets easy. There is always something about myself that I need to pay attention to and hopefully change if I need to. When life gets difficult, I need all my mental faculties up and running in 100% best form.

Asking for help is a sign of strength. Not a sign of weakness. It took many years for me to ask for help and it saved my life. There are just some things that we can't do by ourselves.
Best of luck to you. :D
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