New Posters READ THIS FIRST

First off, for transwomen and transmen, and folks with Gender Dysphoria, gender fluidity/ambiguity, etc., we at PF know it's not a sexual disorder, and we also know GID as an official term, and to some extent, the nature of the diagnosis, has been replaced in the DSM-V and the ICD-10 CM. However, when this was set up, this is where, and what it was named, and changing isn't practical. We ask for your understanding.

Sometimes, as a moderator, I find posts from new users, or users that haven't posted about sex and gender before, that properly belong in other forums. As a guide for posters who are not sure where to place a topic, this is the forum for Gender Dysphoria, and Transgender. It is not the forum for questions on sexual orientation. Nor is it, the forum for overwhelming fear/obsession over the possibility of having a sexual orientation or a gender that is variant with your current one:

If you are wanting to post about your sexual orientation, please post in sexuality/

If you have an overwhelming fear, obsession, or intrusive thoughts of being gay, please post in obsessive-compulsive/

Similarly, if you are suffering extreme anxiety over the thought of being transgender, while this is the correct forum for gender dysphoria, you might consider posting first in obsessive-compulsive/ , especially if you have an established history of Obsessive-Compulsive traits or disorder.

In that way, your topics will be in forums where you'll get the most, and more relevant, replies. And if you find you do have gender issues that are not intrusive thoughts, you can always come back to this forum to continue your journey.

Thanks,
Snaga

Hello:

I can't remember anything about my state of mind the last time I was on this forum. With the Username I had, it must have been dismal perhaps? My life has changed markedly.

Today, I am wondering about an issue that I know has a name but I can not think what it is. I've been thinking that men often frighten me so much that it is paralyzing. But, lately I am wondering if I am just very attracted to men, to the point that I somehow confuse that with fright?

Yes, I was diagnosed as GID almost 40 years ago, and I did have those feeling as a very young child. I'm 72 now, and lately I wonder if those feelings were simply because the males in my life were right plonkers. By the time I was in my teens, I had PTSD (They didn't know what it was then), hated males, an hated being one. In retrospect, perhaps I was not TG at all but just very damaged, and compensating?

These days I think that being said to be transgendered should be viewed with a jaundiced eye perhaps? I am not an expert. This is just my own questioning. On top of that I have found out that I am XXY, and a lot of other things, ad nauseum. I wonder how that could have influenced me over the years?

I did have the surgery, and live as a completely celibate woman. Was I actually simply Homosexual but so damaged and afraid of males that it could not develop? I believe that Homosexual intercourse is very wrong, but do not speak out about it, instead simply choosing to hold my own conduct in conformance with my beliefs.

Hello and welcome back!

I'm not sure I disagree with you, on your statement, about looking askance at the current state of gender. I watch a couple YouTubers, people who have had top surgery (one a transwoman, the other a transmale), who speak rather disparagingly at what they refer to as, 'transtrenders'. It seems, in the short time I became a moderator at PF, that there seems to be a lot of politicization of transgenderism. Hell it's trendy, now. I can't help but feel that it cheapens transgenderism for people who genuinely have diagnose-able dysphoria, and it irritates me greatly on their behalf. It is.. a dicey subject, because politics itself, is pretty much verboten here on PF, yet it seems to increasingly becoming impossible to separate it from certain mental health issues.

I think that the current spate of what some call 'transtrenders' is one reason I see so much transgender-oriented obsessions in the OCD forum, which I also moderate. Which again, raises my Ire because it's a perfect petri dish for OCD.

I'm sorry about your early life, it sounds pretty rough. I do think it's interesting you were Dx'd XXY, which I guess actually makes you intersex?

That alone, to me, might be justification enough to transition... as for the other, you're not the first one I've seen, to question their motives- I've watched some ex-transitioning people on YouTube, who had begun, like with HRT or something, then decide or realise that it was other issues making them unhappy with themselves. I... consider myself somewhat nonbinary although I present as Red Forman gender but I do often wonder how much of it is issues with myself. I've never had what I'd call true dysphoria- I'm very sympathetic to that, and I feel as if I'd had a choice at conception, I'd have chosen female, but.... I wasn't asked, and so meh. What I'd like, what I am, for me, are two different things not characterised by a deep abiding need to change the exterior.

It's like I'd like a Ferrari, but it won't kill me to drive a Kia.... that's about where I stand., meh.

Anyway yeah. I try, as mod here, not to subscribe to any sort of orthodoxy- I get heat for it sometimes, but when you're dealing with something that can change your whole life... a person must find their own path and be sure of what they want.