Realizing I am Transgender

The last year has been crazy like a rollercoaster trying to understand who I really am as a person and why I have been running away from the truth for so long. When I was 13 years old I tried on my sisters underwear and I was awoken to a feeling that I thought I was born into the wrong body and that I wanted to be a girl so badly. As a kid I was a bit feminine and girly and picked on because of this but once I got into HS and my junior year puberty hit me late and I started to change in all aspects and I got muscular and my feminine features were gone and I was very sad about that.

Well now 27 years later they have resurfaced and I have realized that I am transgender and I have gone to websites that specialize in transgender people and it has hot me hard that I am this way. I have always wanted to be a female and when I was growing up past High School when things would get rough I wanted to be a girl because I thought that life would be so much better. I have never really been attracted to females and consider myself gay and I am fascinated by women but not in any sort of sexual way.

I am jealous that women can give birth, I am jealous that they have periods and use tampons and pads and I think that would be amazing to be that way and deal with PMS on a monthly basis and yeah I know that sounds weird but its true to how I feel. I think being a women is a beautiful thing and I am so jealous of women and how they carry themselves and how they act.

I shaved my legs and my entire body the other day because I wanted to feel soft like a female and once I got done shaving my legs I was suprised how much I enjoyed having smooth legs, I had wish I had done that years before because it feels amazing. I have been dressing up in the privacy of my own house ever since I was young but it has come and gone on how important it was in my life. I love wearing panties and tights and once I put on a pair of tights after shaving my legs I realized how amazing it felt.

In the last day or so I have bought more than a $100 worth of panties, shape clothes, tights, leotard, unitard and a swimsuit and some other things. I bought some lotion to rub on my legs to make them softer and more feminine. I am even to the point where the next time I am out shopping getting female deodorant and start using that and if people are that close and smell it I will just tell them I like that smell if they realize that its female product. I bought a razor to keep my legs shaved down.

When I use the bathroom I always sit down even if its just peeing, I just want the full effect of what its like to be a woman. I am not sure if I will ever get breasts by hormones but I do think about it quite often, but I know that I will never have enough money to get surgery but if I did win the lottery or something like that, surgery would be on the top of the list that is for sure.

In the past I have had gay relationships and I have varied between being the top and the bottom in those relationships but all I think about these days is being the bottom and being the submissive partner and also kind of having that feminine role in sex.

I have also looked online about buying breast forms and bras and dresses and skirts and blouses and thinking about going out in public dressed as a female and trying to get comfortable in doing that. I thought that this was some sort of phase that is going to go away but it really is not. I sometimes wish that it was because then I would have to tell my family and friends about the real me and that I am a woman. Well glad that I could post this in a place like this. Thanks

Hiii,

I'm a 19-years-old biological male. Since the age of 13, I always felt like I mentally transcend gender barriers. At moments I want to be a fabulous queen, other moments I want to be the alpha male. Usually I feel both simultaneously. (Strange, I know) I am bisexual though. I too have always envied the female body, and the way they carry themselves. I recently started wearing women's clothes in the privacy of my own home. I've been shaving my torso and legs and using lotion to get that feminine feel and when I have sex with a male or female I always feel like a woman. It's confusing. With all of this, I don't think I'd ever get any surgery. I am what I am. I've been wanting to go public with it but I have hidden my feelings for so long I simply don't know how to go about it. I was involved with bad people so I always had to hide it. I read your post and got excited, because I feel like our current ventures are similar. Best of luck to you, much love.

Hey girlie

SandyTG wrote:I think being a women is a beautiful thing and I am so jealous of women and how they carry themselves and how they act.

Firstly, please let me say that you're a woman. I feel like that by saying what I quoted, you may be invalidating your own gender! I'm not saying that's how it is, it's just how I interpret your words when you talk about other women, and it's like... You already are one!

You're a woman. You carry yourself like a woman because you are a woman and you don't have to be jealous of women because you are a woman. You're already a woman, and I'm so proud of you for realizing it. GOOD FOR YOU!!! I'm sure the panties will look so awesome on you, omg.

You also do not need surgery to further validate your gender if you can't afford it. You shouldn't feel ashamed about your body. But HRT will help you grow breasts. The size of the breasts are determined by genetics, I think, but boobs are cool no matter what size, anyway!!

Best of luck to you and take pride in your identity and enjoy every moment of this transformation. It's a crazy adventure.

I'm twenty, and I'm a transguy, and I'm still transitioning too. We're transitioning to different genders, but you're welcome to talk to me at any time!